Spirits In the Material World

Something my mentor/double stressed repeatedly to me over the years: "This is a solitary path, and you will eventually lose everything and everyone." At the time these words were communicated, I altered between thinking they were meant literally as opposed to metaphorically. Over the years, I've come to realize it's a bit of both. I've watched others who started out on this path slowly but inevitably fall back into the allure of the consensus for one reason or another. Oh, some of them still give lip service to the path, but actions speak louder than words. So while these people aren't "lost" to me, they are, in effect, phantoms on the road to Nowhere, even when they might appear to be walking at my side. And lest someone hop in to say that is me being judgmental, let me assure you I have no judgment whatsoever. I am simply an observer, a scribe of random events, a being who long ago lost sight of "the world" when my assemblage point shifted permanently to the Infinite. Such is life. It can perhaps be argued in the form of semantics, but at the end of the day, it cannot be denied by anyone who truly *sees*.

As for losing every *thing*, that has turned out to be interesting as well. What's been lost isn't necessarily physical things, but absolutely ANY importance or value attached to physical things. Clearly, that's a good thing, right? No debate there. But it makes for an interesting journey through what Madonna called "the material world." Particularly here in the West, so much value is placed on status symbols and material gain - cars, houses, jewelry, clothes. And yet, to the warrior, these things are only tools, or even less than that. They are objects in an inventory. An inventory in a warehouse of Chaos.

As a result, part of a "warrior's sadness" comes from the Knowledge that s/he is essentially an island of awareness in a sea of madness. Looking at old friends, we see the shell of abandoned potential, the husk that has been drained of all Spirit, and now has reattached itself to the teat of that material world. And in the material world, the warrior sees the play in full swing, and realizes it is a paradoxically circular script written by madmen and madwomen, acted out by zombies who were once vibrant, beautiful children. And in many ways, it is that "sadness" which gives a warrior her strength - the long-term observations and unshakable Knowledge that she, too, runs the high risk of returning to phantom status if she doesn't remain awake and simply continue to put one foot in front of the other while the world and all its lost souls and meaningless trinkets lie in ruins in the rear-view mirror of time.

Mediocrity

Mediocrity is the destroyer of genius. If you want to travel the known roads while wallowing in your comfort zones, leave me out of it. Perhaps as a result of my near death experience in August of 2014, I've found that I have no patience for the mundane world and all its petty problems. Not knowing how long I have left on this planet has left me hungry for what lies BEYOND the horizon, not just sitting on the shore watching another pretty sunset. If we don't go FURTHER than where we started, we're going nowhere.

The Dark Side of the Light

An uncompromising look at the second enemy of a seeker on the road to enlightenment

Clarity shows us the world as it is, things as they are, problems as they exist... but it shows us almost nothing with regard to how to accept things as they are, reconcile our place within the schema of "the way things are," or fix the problems that exist. It DOES, however, reveal to us that there is nothing to fix and that, ultimately, nothing matters much within the consensual world. Maybe nothing matters at all. Not something we necessarily want to hear, definitely not something most want to believe, but there it is, staring us in the face when we agree to look beyond the programs instead of merely wearing them like a pair of cheap glasses. Put simply – clarity is a double-edged sword that cuts through the bullshit only to reveal more bullshit beneath.

And such is the enemy of clarity.

If you are looking for new age spiritual bliss ninnyisms, you have come to the wrong place – for a warrior/seeker who is engaged in her inevitable battle with clarity can hardly be bothered to pat you on the head and tell you "Everthang's gonna be awright." Maybe it will. Maybe it won't. There's that double-edged sword again.

Love: The Catalytic Force of Immortality

by Mikal Nyght(Author of DARKER TEACHINGS OF THE IMMORTALS)

Recently, someone asked... "Can you distill it all down to a single essay?  If a seeker could only take one concept with them for the rest of their lives, what would you want it to be?"

________________

I would start by saying it isn't up to me to decide what any seeker should take with them, and there is no single key to achieving the immortal condition.  It is a process of transformation and self-manifestation – what Aleister Crowley called The Great Work, and what I have come to call, simply, "the path."  How that path unfolds is going to depend on the seeker himself, his goals and aspirations, and his methods. Mostly, it is going to depend on the programs he carries with him, and how deeply he is embedded in the consensus reality.  The consensus may be referred to as the matrix, the dayshine world, the agreement or a host of other terms, all of which boil down to one thing:  the baseline "reality" with which we are all presented until such time as we open our eyes to the higher truth which tells us, whispering softly in the beginning... "All that we see or seem... is but a dream within a dream."

It is that awakening from the illusion which compels the seeker to embark on the path – from the realization that the world is nothing like we have been taught to believe. Where the path leads from there, who's to say? If the goal is enlightenment (whatever that may turn out to be), the path will lead in a particular direction.  If the goal is self-empowerment within the mortal world, the path will lead in an entirely different direction.

Ah, but if the goal is to attain the immortal condition (which might be understood best as the conjoining of the mortal self to the eternal Other), the path will lead down a series of rabbit holes, twists and turns, and somewhere along the way, the seeker will begin to realize – just a glimpse at first, shy and reluctant to be seen – that the reality with which we are presented is quite likely the reality we are creating on some vast quantum canvas which cannot be entirely assimilated from a purely humanform perspective. We may sense intuitively that there is more than meets the eye, but how does a blind man's eye taste the color of blood and midnight rainbows?

What to do?  To a being existing in a 2-dimensional world, it would be impossible to perceive a 3-dimensional object.  The 2-D being would see only height and width, but would not possess the sensory ability to perceive depth, even if s/he had been told and could intuit that a 3-dimensional universe did, in fact, exist.  Not in some otherworld.  Not "out there" in space somewhere.  But all around him.

At that point, the 2-D being has a choice to make. Will he simply accept, as he is being told by his peers, that such mysteries are not possible for him to solve? "God moves in mysterious ways, after all, and why would any blasphemer dare to question that divine plan – you don't want to be a blasphemer, do you, kid?" Will he go back to the comfort zones of his 2-D tv and leave his questions unanswered and unresolved because that is what his consensus tells him he must do if he is to be considered a normal and sane member of the 2-D herd? "If you keep on chasing after ghosts and handsome vampires and some crazy notion that you can change your fundamental nature, they're gonna call the men with the funny white coats and lock your sorry 2-D ass up for the rest of your life!  Get with the program, kid!"

The program...  Decision time. Succumb to the pressures of peers, or peer beyond the limitations of one's "fundamental nature" to see what might lie outside those self-imposed limits. In other words – surrender and die, or evolve and run the awe-inspiring risk of living forever?

Sound like an easy choice?  For most, it is.  The lure of social and familial acceptance, the promise of happiness, the comfort of those old comfort zones is usually sufficient to shut down those far-fetched ideas and silence that still, small voice that begs for evolution, but cannot force it if it is the free will of the individual to return to his 2-D place in the matrix.  Put simply, most choose to die because it's a lot easier than doing The Work of self-manifestation of the Other outside the box.

And yet...

There are a rare few who are compelled beyond all reason to listen to that little voice and to consort with it in dreams and visions.  There are those rare few who say to the higher self, "Teach me all you can," and then give it free will to project itself beyond the confines of the mortal self, and into the infinite.  That projection is the twin – the immortal Other (double or energy body, if you prefer) who has the ability to do and be things the mortal self cannot imagine, and to accumulate a lifetime of lifetimes, an infinitude of experience, myriad stories to tell... and all of them are anecdotes of the self as a vast and virtually incomprehensible being.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Before the seeker who has been compelled to evolve can even begin to create and project his Other, he has to have a reason.  Fundamental truth. Humans don't often undertake difficult tasks without a reason.  So we have to ask the question... What could possibly be so important that one would risk losing everything in order to have it? 

For, make no mistake, this path will cost you everything. It will cost you your gods and demons, your beliefs and comfort zones, and most of the time it will even cost you your family and friends. You will find yourself alone, a stranger in a strange land, and if you don't have something that compels you to keep going, I can virtually guarantee that you will return to the matrix and console yourself with some platitude along the lines of... "I had to regain my family! I missed my friends! I need my sanity in the real world!" That's okay. You've failed. Maybe spirit will give you another opportunity. Maybe not. Doesn't really matter.  ccept your failure and revel in whatever it was that called you back to that old program. It'll be over soon and you won't have to fret about it.

And yet...

If you are one of those madmen or madwomen who stubbornly stand your ground in the cyclone of social rejection and even the possibility that you are no longer sane by the definition of your peers... what is it you're holding onto that keeps you going?

And here the lesson really begins.

Love is the reason

• When you love something so much that you cannot envision a world in which your love is dead, that is the first moment you might begin to see the pathway to achieving the immortal condition. That is the moment you might even understand why it is a compulsion for you and not just a passing intellectual dalliance.

I've highlighted the paragraph above because it is really all that matters here, distilled down to 50 words or less  If you get it, or think you do, you're already ahead of the game, but don't fool yourself by thinking, "Well, duh, that's obvious!"  Yes, it's obvious, but so is that oncoming bus, and people walk in front of buses every day. 

The secret here is that you have to create and inhabit a world where Death himself does not and cannot exist – for another fundamental truth is that only when you evolve sufficiently to be beyond the reach of Death does it become possible to also perceive the immortal condition with regard to those you love.

Does this mean you can "save" them from Death? No. And yes. And no. What it means is that in order to even begin to comprehend the meaning of this statement, you would need to be already standing on the far side of the bridge between life and death, looking back to see how the bridge was built. It is not something that can be explained with words or pictures drawn in the sands of time. It is something that can be intuited at first, so I prey you will tickle the riddle rather than struggling to pick it apart.  For now, I will simply say this:  in a world where Death does not exist for the One, Death does not exist at All. 

Perhaps I have said too much.

Whether the "something" you love is another human being, or the thought of your eternal Other, or simply the idea of Be-ing alive, rest assured that the kind of love that is transformative is not love of a physical object or even another person, place or thing. 

What?  You just contradicted yourself!

Yes, I did.

Or did I?

When I am speaking of love at this level, I am not talking about the form in which the object of one's love appears, but the essence within the form itself. The energy of it. The spirit of it. The totality of it. The sheer and inexplicable awe of it. To an immortal, a lover's form may appear as an old woman, haggish and withered, but the essence of the lover is no less vibrant and alive than on the day they met. The essence is that which is eternal, and therefore it is the fundamental nature which the seeker truly loves, rather than the transient form. 

Love of the immortal/eternal twin is another barometer for some, while others would try to say the twin is merely a reflection of the self.  Listen to your internal dialog on this matter – because if it is telling you that your double is "only" this or that, if those pesky little voices are telling you the double is "only" the so-called higher self or the soul to which you may feel entitled... think again.  The double is the self in eternity – it is the totality of oneself, the cumulative experience of all lifetimes, past, present and future. It is not some ethereal or angelic woo-woo hanging in orbit over Uranus, but instead it is the vessel for the seeker's awareness beyond this life. Underestimate it at your own peril. Ignore it at the certainty of your obliteration.

Love it... and it will come to you in dreams and visions, it will speak to you through silent knowing (gnosis), it will infiltrate the past in ways that you cannot begin to wrap your mind around until you think it has been with you all along (and it has, once you as the mortal self create it in the Now); and ultimately it will become your best friend, perfect lover, eternal guardian, and temple of the singularity of consciousness which you yourself are in the process of becoming. 

I have written volumes on the subject of love, yet often someone will make a comment which reveals to me that it's all only dust in the wind, short verses of transient poetry scripted on the surface of water, quickly disappearing and losing all meaning. That in itself also reveals the power of the consensus reality, the agreement, the dayshine world.  That is the way of things, and if it were otherwise, we would live in a different world with a different consensus.

Now, to answer the question that was put to me... I would have to say that the real key to attaining the immortal condition is contained within this peculiar force humans call "love".  And yet, I would urge great caution here, for it is the erroneous conclusions and misconceptions humans have about "love" that will also prevent them from attaining that state. Tread carefully. Be always aware of every thought and every belief system, and always stop and take a moment to ask yourself, "What do I believe about love and why do I believe it?"

There is such a wide range of experience associated with the word love, it's unfortunate that other words have not been invented to more clearly distinguish the difference between romantic love, sexual love, parental love, familial love, spiritual love, emotional love, the creative force of love, unconditional love, and so on.  The word "love" is used for all of these states, and many more, so it's important for the seeker to have a firm grasp on his own understanding of what I have come to call "the creative force of love." 

This form of love is a quantifiable force – not a passive romantic thought, but a viable power similar in nature to a bolt of lightning, possessing the ability to destroy and create in a single strike.

And yet... again I would urge extreme caution – for words are only descriptions, tools to be used to aid the processes, but not to be mistaken for the process itself. As the old saying goes, do not mistake the finger pointing at the moon for the moon itself.


Why am I telling you this?  What does this have to do with the key to attaining the immortal condition? Nothing. And everything.

It is only when the seeker begins to truly understand and experience the creative force of love that s/he will have even the vaguest idea of what the immortal condition actually is, and why one is compelled to attain it. It isn't just the prospect of living forever. That's really quite a boring thought when you boil it down. Why?  Because a linear experience of eternity would consist of boredom and eventual madness, largely because the organic brain/mind is not designed to process such vast amounts of data as would accumulate from an extremely long and linear organic life. After all, who really wants to spend eternity in high school, over and over and over again? It's not the romantic adventure Hollywood likes to portray, so one of the first things the seeker needs to understand is that time is not linear and being a perpetual teenager is not a goal to which any rational being would aspire.

The love I am speaking of here is the love that is devastating in its intensity – for it is only when the world is destroyed that the new world can be built in its place. 

Love is the reason.

In clinical word association tests, humans also tend to most commonly reply with opposites.  If I say "dark," the first and most common response will be "light". Boy/girl.  Life/Death. Good/Evil. That being the case, it stands to reason that if I say "love," the most common response will be "hate."

And therein lies a clue to why most humans never even search for the key to the immortal condition.

Somewhere along the way, the human program got even more fucked up than it already is.  Somewhere in the depths of the human paradigm, "hate" came to be considered the opposite of love, when it is crystal clear to anyone outside the program that grief is the polar opposite of love. Hate isn't even in the same building.

Why is grief the polar opposite of love?

Because grief is the state of loss wherein the object and the essence of what one loves has been eliminated – permanently and irrevocably removed from the fabric of existence.  It is the state wherein one realizes (usually too late) that the things one loves (including and especially Oneself) comprise the elements of the answer to the first question:  Who Are You? 

Tread carefully. This is not to say that you are defined by the ones you love. And yet... the essence of who you are is woven with the energetic fabric of the essence of the things you love. This is the creative force of love – the catalytic element which causes the seeker to ultimately realize that without those things (or more precisely, without access to those things), the seeker is incomplete, left in a state of grief and loss, which can debilitate the spirit and even crush the will to live.

To those who would argue that love is therefore an attachment, I would say instead that love is an enhancement, an enrichment, an augmentation.  To those who would say that love is a dependency, I would say instead that it is the ultimate freedom – for within the creative force of love lies The Reason, which is the catalyst of all change and evolution.

These are only words tacked to the door of the infinite, hanging somewhere in the wasteland of cyberspace.  If it were easy (or even possible) to truly define what it is that is the key to the immortal condition, I'm quite certain someone would have done it by now.  I have no delusions that I will change the world, alter your perceptions, or even make a dent in the human condition.  And yet... what can be seen so clearly is often that which defies explanation utterly.

In the life of every true seeker, there is the capacity to love something so fiercely that the element of love becomes a duality.  In the same way light is both particle and wave, love is both the experience and the catalyst for the experience itself.  There is a legend that speaks of a man who fell in love with an immortal.  It goes something like this:

For many years, the man and the immortal shared all things any couple might share – a home together, a glass of wine by the hearth, the illusion of happiness and security, the belief that nothing could ever come between them.

But as the mortal man grew older and his lover remained untouched by the bastard of Time, he came to realize that soon they would both be alone again, and it would all be as if it never was at all. This was the curse of mortality. This was the meaning of Life: that it would always end, and in doing so it would end the world itself, for the world was contained in the perception and experience of the man.

He was beside himself for months, years. The mirror had turned to wrinkles and grey, and had dimmed in his sight. He could not bear to look upon himself, even though his immortal companion still held him with a love that had turned melancholy and sad, but was nonetheless as fierce and awe-inspiring as it had been when they first met. He had begged her to make him like herself, but She could only smile softly and tell him that was fiction.  She could not make him immortal.  Only he could do that.

Knowing he was dying, unable to bear the horrible burden of grief that would ultimately destroy both of them at world's end, the man went out into the night and shook his fist at the sky, cursing God and damning the human condition. But God didn't answer. In his frenzy, the man called upon the saints and the angels, the demons and the devils. But they had all flown away long ago.

He was alone. Time would not stand still and there would be no ever-after for either of them, only the silence, tombstone and gravedust. And he knew without knowing how he knew that even She who could not die would die, for at some level he could not begin to fathom, they were connected even beyond the normal bonds of love. He tried to reason it out and could not. He tried to Dream the answer, but dreamt instead of Apollo and Artemis entwined in the womb.  

The horror of it ripped a hole in his already broken heart, and scattered the remnants of his soul hither and yon, casting him asunder throughout the endless expanse of time and space, shredding even the molecular memory of his existence, until...

Out of the nothing that was all that remained of him, the man assembled himself as a cry in the madness, and shouted with the spontaneous parthenogenesis of his rebirth into the night that never ends...

"I-Am!"

Words that claim the right to Be. Words that demand the capacity to Love beyond the rules of the human game. Words that deny the mortal illusion, the scythe of Time, the rape of Death. A cry of existence that created the man immortal and eternal, beyond the reach of himself to undo. 

I-Am.

It was then that he finally saw and sat on the rim of the abyss laughing into the Well of Reflections where all things were made clear. Her face was his mirror. Her laughter was his own. The immortal Other was the self and always had been. The thing that could not be sacrificed to time and grief was the essence of the man.

"You tricked me," he said to himself, to her, to the night.

She folded him into the fabric of herself, whispered in his ear with all the Knowledge of Silence itself. "You tricked yourself."

And he knew the truth of it. Knew he had loved her enough to throw off the chains and the bars of his mortal prison, enough to defy even the paradigm of his humanness, enough to take his first eternal breath, because turning himself rightsidewrong with the madness of love was the only cure for the fatal demon of grief. 

Love is the reason and the catalyst.

Do you love yourself enough?

___________________
Mikal Nyght
Teachings of the Immortals
Darker Teachings of the Immortals

Available on Amazon, digital or paperback

The Holy Trinity (and other things that go bump in the night)

(Written in response to a seeker who asked if a belief in God, religion, ETs and the holy trinity would negatively impact her path toward evolution...) ______________________

  To believe in Jesus, the Holy Trinity, ETs and so forth is not "wrong." All of those things exist at one level of reality or another - but not necessarily as humans have concluded as a consensus. What the spiritual seeker must consider is what SHE has concluded, as well as the amount of actual belief (and power) she attributes to the thing itself. It's false conclusions that usually lead to false belief systems. For example... consider the possibility that the Holy trinity is actually this:

 Mortal Self, Immortal Twin, Conjoined Singularity

 In Biblical terms, these attributes were assigned to "God" alone, but in reality this is the very "structure" of the human "soul" - it is a 3-part entity which begins with the mortal human, evolves to the projected/manifested Immortal Twin, and culminates in the (re)conjoining of the 2 (mortal self, immortal twin) at which point a transformation, transcendence or transmogrification is Willed into being, resulting in the infinite Singularity. THIS is the core nature of the "holy trinity" - it didn't come into being through religion. Quite the contrary. It is a facet of nature which has been adopted (and skewed) by religion, until it has left humans believing they are "wretches" who need to be saved through "amazing grace." In reality, Thou Art God - Create Yourself Accordingly. YOU are the trinity.

It's human CONCLUSIONS that lead to all sorts of false belief systems. So - I would say that the "holy trinity" exists, but not as religion would have you believe.

As for Jesus... whether he ever existed as a man, there is no way to know. What is certain is that he exists NOW as a quantifiable belief system - basically an allegory/tulpa that has taken on shape and form BECAUSE of so much energy and belief placed onto the IDEA of it. Put another way - man creates god in his own image. Nothing wrong with that - it could be said that man NEEDS his gods until such a time when man is ready to accept responsibility for his own existence, his own "salvation" and his own evolution into immortality. Religion takes the responsibility OUT of the hands of man, and asks only that man "believe upon the Lord and you will be saved." Ah, if only it were that SIMPLE!

The reality is that each and every human being CHOOSES whether s/he will take responsibility for herself or not. It's easy enough to believe that some metaphysical entity is going to somehow "save" one from the final oblivion of death, but when a seeker comes face to face with the Realization that the myths man has created are really only comfort zones to guard against his own AWARENESS of his mortality... the seeker stands at a crossroads where s/he must decide whether she will have "faith" or come to the further Realization that "the destruction of faith is the beginning of evolution." For it's only when we stop blindly believing in what we have been TOLD and start really *seeing* things as they ARE that we take back our own inherent metamagickal POWER and invoke the mantra that is our first step toward freedom.

What is that mantra? Simply this: I-AM! What is the I-Am? Put simply, it is the declaration of self-awareness – the identity of the self within the whole of the holographic universe, the indelible statement that One now exists as a vessel of awareness & consciousness that is ubiquitous, infinite, eternal and non-local. Not only in the Now, but in the All of all the Nows.

As for extraterrestrials, spirits and other entities... never forget that the universe is infinite and filled with mysteries. It would be foolish and self-indulgent to believe that what we perceive directly is all that exists. After all - we cannot directly see a virus or an amoeba, but our lack of vision doesn't mean they don[t exist. And in a universe that IS so vast, it would be pure arrogance to believe Earth is the only planet with sentient life.

Studies have been done with a substance called DMT (dimethyltriptamine) [[DMT: THE SPIRIT MOLECULE - Strassman]] which essentially indicate that there are entire other "universes" existing all around us - things we cannot see with our humanform eyes, but things which may be perceived with the "third eye" of silent knowing (aka: gnosis). When our so-called "reality filters" are taken away, we not only *see* but come to Know we are not alone in this vast and mysterious universe. It should also be considered that many "schizophrenics" and others suffering from so-called "delusional" states may well be *seeing* things which exist beyond the normal range of human perception - for reasons unknown, the "reality filters" of these individuals may be thin or non-existent. It is not my purpose here to get into a lengthy discussion about so-called "mental illness" (a term that has always seemed offensive and judgmental to me). Instead, I point these things out to remind seekers that "all that we see or seem... is but a dream within a dream." To clarify - what we CONCLUDE is a "dream" may well be the reality, and so we must always ask - are we the dreamed or the dreamer, or both or neither?

Remember this: the seeker's responsibility is to the Self (though the energy vampires all around you will tell you otherwise!) - the evolution of the mortal self into the immortal twin into the conjoined singularity. We are all just a chrysalis in the process of unfolding - and that unfolding is not always pleasant but often painful... and yet it is the journey that defines us and the destination that provides us with the foundation for the next evolution.

Be always unfolding,
Mikal Nyght
(Author of TEACHINGS OF THE IMMORTALS)

Death: A Non-quantifiable Non-entity

Everything is energy at the quantum level. With one possible exception - Death. Why is death NOT energy? Because death is the state of no-thing, non-existence personified and manifested. Only when one understands that sufficiently to DO something about it does one have the slightest possibility of attaining the immortal condition.

Teachings of the Immortals
by Mikal Nyght

The state known as "death" is non-quantifiable. It can only be defined in negatives - the "absence of life" or "the cessation of bodily functions" or "ceasing to be." When the seeker begins to really wrap his mind around this, it has the potential to be life-altering, or at least paradigm-shifting. Because it is a non-quantifiable integer, the question must be asked... does it exist at all? We perceive the effects of it, but what is the thing itself that CAUSES these effects? As the seeker ponders this over time, it may begin to be clearer that death itself is a program within the program - but more accurately, it is a virus in the program. Eliminate the virus and...??? A new world of possibility opens. But unless the seeker recognizes the virus for what it is, s/he may proceed under the (false) assumption that death is "natural" part of the human condition. If it were... it would be comprised of energy. It isn't. Therefore... for anyone who is a forward thinker, this opens a whole new can of nasty worms that really MUST be addressed if the seeker is really dedicated to the notion of spiritual evolution.
Without the virus of death, humans would already be immortal. It is the existence of death (which is a non-existence) that provides the impetus for the seeker to evolve beyond the existing paradigm. The seeker who claims s/he is not afraid of death is either 1) a liar; 2) already conjoined to the twin; or 3) has evolved sufficiently to *see* beyond the existence of that which is non-existent.

To anyone who has transcended the program, no explanation is possible. To anyone who hasn't... it may well be that no explanation is possible, except within the Do-ing of the thing itself.

Mikal Nyght
http://www.immortalis-animus.com/html/book.htm

Eliminating False Beliefs That Imprison Us In the Matrix

In the course of a discussion about our human programming, I asked a young man to give me an example of one of his most deeply held beliefs.  He replied, "God is good."  What follows is my response.

_________________________

I'm going to start by reminding you that nothing here is personal. Then I am going to destroy your world. It is not my Intent to destroy you - but if you are deeply attached to your belief, getting separated from it can and will be painful. Just remember: all of these things are a choice. And do NOT make the mistake of believing anything I am telling you. Belief itself is nothing more than faith, and faith is the greatest destroyer of free will.


You say God is good.
I say god does not exist, and goodness is nothing more than a humanform assignation. I would ask you simply this: WHY do you believe in God in the first place? Think back into your early life. Is it something you were taught to believe by parents or teachers? Is it something you read in a book? Go back as far as you can and really examine where this belief came from. Were you told the typical fairy tales of a caring father-figure on a throne, looking down upon his human children? Do you understand that this is the explanation parents generally give in the western culture when the child begins to become aware of its mortality? Ah, but do you also understand that even mortality is part of the larger consensus which tells you, "All things die"?
This is a good place to really observe that all programs are deeply interconnected. As the child begins to question, the parents generally want to offer comfort or some sense of continuity that transcends all logic. So the child is indoctrinated with the prevailing belief system of its culture - in this case, Christianity. You were told that God exists, but you have never seen him (or her). You may even believe God exists... but there is a vast and crucial difference between what you believe and what you really Know. You may believe aliens from Alpha Centauri are creating crop circles in your shaving cream, but that doesn't make it so. The ONLY way to Know would be to experience it directly - and I am willing to bet you have not experienced "god" directly. If you think you have, I am willing to bet you are merely drawing erroneous conclusions based on what you (again) have been told, and have come to be-lie-ve.

Erroneous conclusions. This is another area where the seeker has to be extremely aware. A magnificent sunset or a remission from cancer is not evidence of the existence of God. So if you plan on using the argument of "I just feel God exists and therefore I know God exists..." think again. What you feel is largely rooted in biochemical exchanges in the brain or programming/conditioning that has been placed upon you by (again) well-meaning parents, teachers, friends, etc. Do you realize that you are culturally programmed to recoil from a spider or snake, and feel warmth toward a butterfly or kitten? And in the exact same way, you have been programmed at some level to believe "God is good," when the reality is that there is no proof of God and no proof of goodness. Both exist as concepts in your mind - ideas that represent something which does not exist.

As a brief aside, the idea of "goodness" might come one centimeter closer to reality than the idea of god - only because it has been proven that all humans (and most animals) really do have within themselves a barometer which tells us "right" from "wrong" at a very intuitive and base level. This has nothing to do with social standards or so-called morality. It has to do with survival instinct. For example, you know instinctively not to stick your hand in fire or try to breathe underwater. Bad things will happen, and so this level of "programming" exists under the heading of "instinct". Tribal cultures will tell you that their warriors know intuitively not to kill a pregnant doe or hunt the buffalo to extinction. None of these things have any connection to the idea of "goodness", but fall under a broader heading of what don Juan (Carlos Castaneda) referred to as "the right way to live." As it was stated in Harry Potter, "There is no good or evil, only power." The fact that the line was delivered by the "evil" Voldemort" is irrelevant. It is an undeniable statement of fact. Go(o)d and (D)evil do not exist, except as extensions of human beliefs.

If you have any doubt of this, take the concept one step further. What would "good" look like? Is it a gaseous cloud or a scoop of ice cream or a mantra mumbled on the lips of monks? What does "evil" look like? Is it a demon with black wings and an appetite for little children, or a serial killer preying on the weak? As you take this further and further down the rabbit hole, what you will discover is that good and evil, god and devil, are ALL only creations of Man, and not the other way around. Man created God in his own image because Man realizes intuitively that he is mortal and seeks something outside of himself to save him.  Man IS God, but the moment Man takes responsibility for that huge responsibility, all of Man's comfort zones are wiped out in a nano-second, and he comes face to face with himself in the mirror. But instead of seeing his intrinsic power and ability, Man usually sees only his limitations and fears, and so he sings the world into being as the illusory dream-state wherein this extant "god" exists who will somehow reach into the illusion and pluck the soul of Man out of harm's way, and into a world where the streets are paved with gold atop the big rock candy mountain.
Sound like a fairy tale? That's because it is.

When you say "God is good," you reveal that you are still operating inside the humanform program at a very base level. The first step toward real freedom (immortality, transmogrification, or however you want to label it) requires the seeker to eradicate ANY belief which places responsibility outside himself. If you believe in God, you are automatically saddled with ALL of the programming that goes with it - all of the illusions and lies and comfort zones Man has created in an attempt to abdicate responsibility for his own "salvation." By accepting one aspect of the God program, you accept the whole program, even if you are not consciously aware of it. Why? Because the idea of "God" predisposes one to believe in an extant deity/creator/savior who must be called upon and/or appeased in some way, and only then will this God intervene on one's behalf.

Extant. Outside. Separate. Apart.


Man Can Exist Without Gods

 As long as Man places God outside himself, Man has given away his power and relinquished his ability to save himself. The Catholics and others have depended on this for centuries, and if you think for a moment that it is a benevolent belief system, think again. The church depends on keeping people ignorant and dependent - because that's what keeps the money rolling in to the church coffers.
Is this good? Is this God?
If God is good, why would he allow such travesty in his name? Would a truly benevolent and loving God of goodness allow wars to be fought in his name? If you try to tell me, "God works in mysterious ways," then you are even more hopeless than you may realize. That is just the standardized lingo which translates to, "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain." As long as you can go on believing in the Great & Powerful Oz, you don't need to look down and see that you've been wearing the ruby slippers all along. As long as you can be blinded and hoodwinked by the razzle-dazzle of "God," you are failing to see that the only God that exists is the one staring back at you over the sink every morning when you brush your teeth.
THINK about it. If you think God is good, then you must think it is good that serial killers and sexual predators prey on children, or animals are tortured by madmen who film themselves doing all sorts of heinous deeds just for the sake of doing it. Is this goodness? If God exists, would he allow such things? We could argue about free will and choice, but the bottom line is that IF God exists, and IF you accept that s/he created all things... then god created the serial killer KNOWING that person would become a serial kiiller, and God created the 7-year old girl who will be brutalized and raped by the serial killer, KNOWING that would be her fate.
If you still think "God is good," then I would bet you really aren't thinking. You are basing your statement on a pre-existing belief that has nothing to do with reality. Or you are drawing erroneous conclusions based on wishful thinking.
A man looks up at the sky and sees a falling star. "What a magnificent miracle from God!" he exclaims.

On the other side of the world, that falling star turns out to be a wayward meteorite that crashes into a village, killing hundreds. "What an evil act of vengeance from the gods!" the women who lost 3 children cries.
It's all in how you *see* it. And neither has anything to do with reality.
You create the world through what you believe. Just be sure you are creating a world you want to live in.
______________
Mikal Nyght 2013

[NOTE:  I'm not here to rob anyone of their belief in God.  If you need it to get through your day, that's your affair.  This seeker came to me asking how he might improve his life - and it was quickly observed that he was "waiting" for his "God" to save him from himself.  So my goal here as a responsible mentor was to assist him in removing the belief systems that have trapped him in an impotent cycle.  If you still want to send hate mail, rest assured I am no stranger to it.  MN]

Unconditional Love & The Black Hole

It's come to my attention over the years that a lot of folk who embark on this path start out with what amounts to a lot of anger and even hatred in their hearts - usually as a result of having been mistreated by some band of misfits, or some bullies in school, or by society at large. And while these feelings are entirely normal to a certain extent, it's important for the seeker to really understand that hatred holds no place in the immortal heart.

This isn't just me up on a soap box preaching for unconditional love. Instead, it is my attempt to communicate one of the most important things I've learned on this long and winding road. It is simply this:

Love is the reason.

It would obviously be impossible to communicate the full complexity of what is really Intended by the words "unconditional love." But in a nutshell, unconditional love is the only state from which a human brain/mind can evolve to the next level. Put simply: one has to evolve within the self before one can evolve beyond the self.

Well WTF does THAT mean?

It means that while a seeker might be able to use anger as a motivator and even a catalyst for change, the seeker can never really use hatred for any positive outcome, because hatred is the core root of violence, aggression and the black hole that lies at the heart of the human condition. If you have ever really (truly) hated some one or some thing or some idea, I believe you will understand what I mean by a "black hole." It is a state of being that is all-consuming - destroying even that little speck of light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. People who truly hate are the ones who go out and blow up schools or become suicide bombers or shoot up a theater full of innocent people because maybe someone called them a "sissy" back in high school, or maybe their perverse Uncle Dick put his dick where it didn't belong and they are forever traumatized and full of anger and hate and the blackness that exists in the void beyond the universe itself. In all likelihood, they even feel quite righteous about their hatred - it is an earmark of their identity, and they believe (falsely) that if they were without that hatred, they would somehow cease to exist in the way they know themselves.

This, too, is part of the programming put onto one by the consensus reality. I won't bother going into the specifics - they should be obvious - but I want to stress that what happened to you then was then, and what happens to you now is the only Now you will ever know. The one who is full of hatred for what happened in that past is living in that past - and when you think about it, that's really very twisted and sick, because it's like reliving the darkness from day to day, year to year, taking the anger and pain and hurt with one into the future, when it could just as easily be dumped along side the road with the words... "That was then, this is now."

I really don't care what "happened" to make a hateful man into a hateful man. It doesn't really matter "why" so-and-so shot up a school or strapped a bomb to his chest and walked into a crowded mall. The media and pop psychologists like to say that if we can understand WHY he did it, we can prevent it from happening again.  No, not really.  The reasons are too many and too varied - so all we can really strive for is to understand ourselves and in doing so, hopefully expand the awareness of those around us, until - eventually - the state of higher awareness becomes the new paradigm. 

So when it comes to trying to understand "why"... What matters is that the man clearly missed his own opportunity for spiritual evolution, and in his hatred (and supreme self-importance) made the decision to punish others for his own emotional failures, interpersonal shortcomings or sexual impotence or fill-in-the-blank. What matters is how this kind of thing can be avoided - just not in the way most people like to believe. I'm not just referring to the high profile media cases such as Sandy Hook and Colorado, but to the every day aspects of life which create both suicidal madmen and homicidal madmen.

The key to any and all of this is a deep understanding of what is meant by unconditional love. Contrary to popular new age beliefs, "unconditional love" isn't some mindless state of being wherein one frolicks with unicorns and runs around acting like a bliss ninny. Unconditional love is actually one of the easiest ways to understand what is really meant by my use of the word "Duality" - a state wherein 2 equally viable (or volatile) things may exist side by side without either threatening the sovereignty of the other. As it applies to unconditional love... it is entirely possible to have unconditional love for someone, and simultaneously not like them in the least.

It's like this: I can have deep empathy (another way of describing unconditional love) for someone like Jeffrey Dahmer, but in the same moment I would not hesitate to administer the lethal injection should the task fall to me. Why? Because it's entirely possible to love the core breath of Life which IS the person, but to condemn the actions of that person through and through. (Yes, I know Jeffrey is dead, but he's still the poster child for what NOT to do in life). Bringing this down to a more personal level - as the seeker progresses on the path, it becomes possible to have unconditional love even for those who have wronged us.

With that said, it doesn't mean we go invite the bully to dinner (though it's a test of conviction if you think you need to). What it does mean is getting some things straight in your head. Whatever the bully or bullies did to you really had nothing to do with YOU, but everything to do with their own limitations, fears, self-loathing and so the list goes on. When you are on the receiving end of that kind of bullying, of course it FEELS personal, but it's really about "them" and what is ultimately "wrong" with them - it has nothing to do with you. Really, really. If you could get inside the bully's head (no, not with an ice pick), you would find yourself face to face with a pathetically frightened, self-absorbed zombie who uses others as a target to mask his own inadequacies.

When you really *see* the depth of despair and emptiness in this type of person, you cannot help but experience empathy and compassion for that core spark of life which has been so damaged - but at the same time, you would not hesitate to club them over the head if you observed them bullying others in the Now. This is both unconditional love and duality, working together to provide the seeker with a workable sense of balance. You may think you can thrive on hatred and anger, but eventually you will find that the black hole of hatred will pull you in entirely and there will be nothing left of you but an empty shell that has become the very thing it loathes: another bully, another zombie whose hunger can never be satisfied.

Unconditional love isn't some doe-eyed state of nirvana. Instead, it is a lot of work - and it comes as a result of a conscious decision to release the hatred we might feel for someone, or a particular group. I realize it's popular for hard-core Pagans to "hate" hard-core Christians (and vice versa), but in the bigger picture, that mindset will only end up creating the conflict and confusion which have led to violence, war and death throughout history. As seekers, you simply cannot afford the luxury or the indulgence of your hatred - because when it consumes you, the "bad guys" have won, and they have succeeded in putting THEIR program onto you, by coercing you to mirror their mindset. And aside from who wins or loses, you simply don't have the time or energy to spare nursing your hatred - and when you are honest with yourself, you cannot help but admit that hatred does require a lot of nurturing.  Something worth examining.

Just words. Use them if you can.

The next time you feel great anger or hatred for someone or some thing, stop for a moment and ask yourself if there is any one single thing you can find about the object of your hatred that might dispel the gravity of the black hole. Can you see that perhaps they are sadly ignorant and should be pitied rather than hated? Can you see that their programming is what drives them and not any real qualms with you personally? Can you employ the old cliche of walking a mile in their shoes in order to better understand what made them who/what they are? If you can do any of these things, you will create a window of opportunity to experience unconditional love.

Allow me to repeat: you don't need to like them or condone what they do. You simply need to have unconditional love for all living things, for it's only in doing so that the seeker annihilates the black hole and creates a window of opportunity for personal evolution beyond the existing paradigm.

Orlando - January 2013
Copyright by Quantum Shaman
All Rights Reserved

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Recapitulating God

An Excerpt from SCRAWLS ON THE WALLS OF THE SOUL

March 13, 2003

2 a.m. and the wind is soft and silver, a night-blanket cut from stardust and smoke from the fires in other people's chimneys. I climb the little knoll across the street and study the world as if it is a book written on the fabric of the universe - yet it is a book whose pages are forever changing in the same way dreams bend and quiver when one tries to look at them too closely. Nothing remains the same, yet everything is eternal in the Now. Perhaps that is all that can be said of the Infinite.


Gazing back in the direction of my house, I wonder if I am sleeping peacefully in my own bed, dreaming myself out here in the lonesome desert where the coyotes are prowling ever closer and the mockingbird is restless and off-key. Even the moon is a broken egg, lop-sided and bleeding albumen clouds that linger for only a moment before they are gone, like shapeless phantoms moving in and out of the night.


There was a time long ago when I wanted to believe in God. That is the thought that comes to me, uninvited. Just the prattle of the internal dialog running its inventory of the past. And so for a moment I am 7 years old again, trying on the role playing game of faith in some old man with a long grey beard sitting on a celestial throne. But in my heart, even then, I knew there was no God, just as I knew there was no Santa, no Easter bunny, no goddess or guru who could give me the keys to heaven. There is only the Self in its many manifestations - the mortal self, the immortal Other, the eternal I-Am who is the cohesion of both. Just those three... my personal triumverate. And, of course, all the identities and manifestations the Other puts on in order to learn the lessons required to teach the mortal self the process of its own evolution. A billion or so past lives that aren't really 'past' at all, but more like stories in a long book of fairy tales, with each and every character being one more Self, all of whom will turn out to be the storyteller when all is said and done.


It's enough to make my heads spin.


How very much easier it all would have been if only I could have believed in God. And yet... belief is not for warriors, and gods have no place in the Infinite. In recapitulating our gods, we give up our faith in external sources of salvation, turning instead to a one-on-one interpersonal relationship with eternity.


A Joshua tree scratches the wind with skeletal fingers, causing the night to sing softly to itself, like an old man whistling past a graveyard where his own tombstone already stands waiting with the date of his birth inscribed, and the date of his death drawing ever closer to the marble.


Overhead, a shooting star seems to hesitate in flight, perhaps just long enough to recapitulate the fall from heaven, the destruction of faith that paves the way for evolution. "As long as god exists, you are working with a safety net." So says the Silence in the middle of the night.

Alone in the darkness, we shed our gods in order to embrace the god-force of Creation within.

_________________
Excerpted from SCRAWLS ON THE WALLS OF THE SOUL (A Quantum Shaman publication)
Available on the Quantum Shaman website at:
http://www.quantumshaman.com/html/scrawls.htm

Or on Kindle at Amazon.Com
http://www.amazon.com/Scrawls-On-Walls-Soul-ebook/dp/B008CUKH6C/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1340201422&sr=1-1&keywords=Scrawls+on+the+walls+of+the+soul

Copyright 2012
by Della Van Hise & Quantum Shaman
All rights reserved

Holy Quantum Spontaneous Parthenogenesis

In an ongoing discussion, the topic of spontaneous parthenogenesis arose as it relates to the "birth" of consciousness, the first moment of awareness.  The question was raised... "How do you know spontaneous parthenogenesis is accurate?"

________________________

Because I have done it. Therefore it is accurate to me. It is an act of Will invoked when one has discorporated into the nothing. To those who have experienced it, no explanation is necessary. To those who have not experienced it, no explanation is possible.

All I can say is this: there comes a moment in every seeker's life - if they are serious and seriously pursue the course of evolution - where it is no longer possible to continue as a human. That is the moment of discorporation - the dissolution of the self into random atoms which are nothing more than bytes of data. "You" are gone. There is perception without awareness. But there is no longer an "I" doing the perceiving. Perception has become random, existing as disconnected elements, pieces of different puzzles thrown together in a pile. There is no difference between the torture of a kitten or the birth of a star. All things are equal and equally devoid of meaning. The universe has become a heap of rubble in the form of unrelated information and there is no cohesion to any of it.

It is from that formless void that spontaneous parthenogenesis occurs - a single moment when something-from-nothing demands the opportunity simply to exist, and it is in that timeless instant when something that cannot be defined takes its first breath and cries out with the full force of its self-willed Will... "I-Am!"

It is impossible to say if that I-Am came into this world from some other, but my own experience would say not. There was nothing. And then there was I-Am. Not because I was entitled to it or dreamt of it, but because I demanded it. It is the moment of self-creation wherein one either claims a place in the universe, or surrenders to the abyss forever.

Though I experienced this spontaneous parthenogenesis at the mortal age of approximately 38, time is the ultimate illusion, and it is possible to now Know that I did not exist at all before I called myself into being with the free will to demand I-Am.

This is not something that can be explained in linear time, although it will appear (falsely) to have occurred in linear time. That is how The First Fundamental Lie tricks the seeker into the illusion of mortality - by preying on the false belief systems with which all humans are saddled until such time as they choose to throw off the chains and embrace their higher nature. As I have said in the past: the only way to kill an immortal is to make him believe he is mortal, and such is the function of the First Fundamental Lie.

(Orlando, December 2012)

Internet Piracy & The Age of Entitlement

There seems to be a group of people who think it's okay for sites like Pirate Bay, Torrents & other "free download" sites to simply rip off writers, artists, musicians et al.  I've heard arguments like, "It all balances out in the end."  Or "You'll still sell your books even if they are being offered for free."  Or "Isn't it about the message and not about making money off your books?"

Let's get something straight here.  Intellectual property (something created by an individual such as art, writing or music, just for example) is the property of the individual who created it - which is why copyright laws exist.  Many of these sites have moved their servers off US soil, so now they can hide behind the petty excuse of, "We don't acknowledge US copyright."  Clever, but you're still a thief.  You're still a slimy little toad hiding behind a big pile of bullshit, and you are making a profit off of legitimate writers, artists & musicians who don't owe you a goddamn thing.  You are a dirty little turd and you are hurting real people who actually work for a living.  Clear enough?

The current generation of entitlement has put forth the notion that "All information should be free, therefore we are just going to take it."  To that end, sites such as those named above post links to free downloads, but in order to get to the free download, you have to join their site (this costs $$$), and so the information really isn't free after all, when you are paying the site owner for the privilege of stealing the material that otherwise you would have to pay to the artist.

Don't kid yourself.  If you are using one of these sites, you are a thief and an asshole, and you are part of the problem, not part of the solution.  Oh my!  Della just called me an asshole!  Yes, I did.  Because the bottom line is simply this:  how would YOU like it if these same thieves came into your house, stole all the food in your fridge, and then sold it online?  I think your "positive attitude" would go right out that frilly pink window and MAYBE you would wake up to the fact that stealing is stealing, whether it is a physical object or an ebook.   And that's really what's happening.  Writers and artists depend on proceeds from their works to pay the bills.  It's the food on our tables, and it ain't "free" anymore than the groceries in your fridge were free.  You worked to manifest that steak, so why should someone else be entitled to just take it?  Not!
Bottom line... thou shalt not steal.  Pretty clear instructions - and a standard moral & social law in all countries and cultures.

Don't be part of the problem.  If you are, please unfriend me.  I want no part of thieves, or those who would defend them.  No one owes you anything.  Get a job.  Get a life.  Pay for what you take.  And stop spewing all those pretty new age platitudes  while trying to convince yourself it's okay.  It ain't!

Part of being a warrior is about knowing when to stop being a pussy.  Part of being a warrior is knowing when to put away that plastic bliss ninny smile, and pick up a sword.

Just. One. Thing.

On another forum I frequent, much concern is given to the idea of the new age movement. Anyone wanting additional background on where I'm coming from can check out the link here...

http://sorcery.yuku.com/topic/3972/Narcissism-and-Spiritual-Materialism-The-New-Age-Legacy

My comments below are a result of this discussion, although I think they have relevance as a stand-alone post as well.
___________________

Worrying about the new age movement is no different than worrying about whether a rogue comet is going to hit the earth. There's nothing we can do about it either way, which is why a warrior practices the right way to live - and usually in a solitary fashion, with no concern for what "others" are doing. I personally agree with the general sentiment being expressed here - the "new age movement" is a crock of crap, a load of bullshit served up in a bunch sweetness and light wrappers, with a hefty serving of crystals and candles on the side.

For warriors on a path of spiritual evolution, that kind of thing is *seen* for what it is, dismissed with detachment, and that is simply that. Trying to change it is like trying to stop that rogue comet. The sheeple who think they are going to save their souls or cure their ills with crystals and candles are the same sheeple who have earned the term "bliss ninnies", and they are no more warriors than I'm an astronaut, so why would anyone here really care WHAT they do? Kinda like the Christians who go to church every Sunday and expect a reward in heaven for their efforts. If they believe that kind of nonsense, it's at their own peril - and NOT my obligation to save them from their own idiocy. Ditto with the "new agers".

Where warriors are concerned... there is really only one thing to learn. One. Thing.

If one wants to survive this life and especially if one wants to survive beyond it, the key to doing so is the creation of the double. While in organic form, we experience the double most commonly as gnosis - silent knowing. Beyond the organic form, we can speculate all day long, but the bottom line is that the double becomes the vessel of our awareness beyond the event horizon "Death", or beyond the Eagle's reach (if you prefer Toltec terminology). Everything ELSE a warrior does is leading to that goal. Sure, there are the tools. Lose self-importance. Intent. Will. Stalking. Dreaming. Detachment. Controlled folly. The right way to live... and so on. But ALL of those things are leading to the ONE thing: THE TOTALITY OF ONESELF (which is the combined awareness of the mortal self and inorganic double).

It's really quite simple. We all know HOW it's done, and hopefully we are all do-ing it. It requires no crystals or candles or incense or leather paddles. The problem with "new age" is that it tends to get lost in the tools and the tricksters wielding them. I've met a lot of bliss ninnies who absolutely believe they are going to get "it" through all of these material "tools". That's THEIR problem, not yours or mine.

The warrior creates his double with the tools outlined above, none of which can be purchased at a swank new age emporium. The only thing a warrior MIGHT need are a few good books to aid in stripping away the belief systems that hold her prisoner to the consensus, but even that is questionable. Some of us figured it out first, then read Castaneda (and others) after the fact.

For a warrior, all the Knowledge you will ever need is already inside you - through the place of silent knowing. Part of knowing how to LISTEN is learning how to STOP listening/worrying about new age movements and the like. It really doesn't concern the warrior whatsoever.

Formula for a warrior:

Mortal Awareness + Awareness of the Double = Freedom

The rest is just distraction, provided to you by the foreign installation.
_________________

The Back Door of The Dark Enlightenment

Years ago when I first began pursuing this path, it was my belief that a state of enlightenment or being awakened would result in what amounted to total peace. Heh. So much for false belief systems. A few days ago, corresponding with an old friend, we were comparing inventories with regard to the notions of enlightenment. Not surprisingly, her list and mine were virtually identical in many respects.
With that said, here's some of a list I compiled a couple of years ago. When I dug it out of the mothballs of cyberspace, I was somewhat surprised to find that not much has changed in those 2 years, so... "awakening" does appear to be a state-of-mind/being that, once achieved, doesn't change very much, other than to expand from its own foundation.
1. I walk through life now looking more at the scenery than the inhabitants - i.e., on long drives I am focused on the mountains, the weather, thoughts of the infinite, which leads to...

2. The human world has lost all meaning, if it ever had any.

3. There is nothing I truly long to do with regard to humanform activities. I have no desire to travel (because all destinations are within myself, therefore no real reason to leave home). I have no interest in writing the Great American Novel (so it stands to reason I'm a better writer now than pre-enlightenment, but now I have nothing I want or need to communicate...) The cornerstone of enlightenment is irony.

4. All "causes" have lost all meaning, with the exception of what I do personally & individually. I would rescue a lost kitten if it crossed my path, for example, but I would not go out and join "causes" as I might have done in the past.

5. I used to think I could "get through to people" if only I could explain myself better. This was a demon w/ my MIL in particular, and a few former forum members. LOL. Now, I no longer care if they "get me" or not.

6. There is a sense of isolation even when in the company of those closest to me, particularly as I watch them move further and further from "enlightenment", moving deeper and deeper into "the agreement". I find myself torn between wanting to pull them back onto the path, yet knowing that anything I say might as well be said to ghosts, to an idea, a fictional character. The world at large cannot hear me, for I am the ghost.

7. I marvel at the ignorance of humans. Particularly as it relates to religion. They are content to believe in God(s), but take no interest in matters of their own spirit.

8. Prior to enlightenment, I always "believed" it would result in a state of well-being and a perpetual smile. Not so. I am still the same person, just more disconnected from the hive. No perpetual bliss, no eternal torment. Just... a different manner of looking at the world through the same eyes. Clarity without any great need to "fix" anything.

9. Nothing really matters, but everything is significant.

10. The flaw in the human program is that the program itself is utterly flawed. This especially pertains to mortality - by the time we are old enough or smart enough to receive "enlightenment", we are closer to the end than to the beginning.

11. If life has any meaning, it is the manifestation of spiritual evolution. What does that mean? I *see* it as a permanent shift of consciousness to what might be an inorganic state of infinite awareness. Jury's still out. Ergo, at present, life has no profound meaning other than existence itself.

_________________
I'm sure there are other observations could make, but... see #2 above.





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