Knocking On the Devil's Door

"Don't come knocking on the devil's door
if you don't want to get dragged into Hell."

"The Price of Freedom"


A lot of people come to me saying they "want to learn." And yet, all too often, I've found that really isn't true. Even among seekers, many are just looking for agreements, a different set of false beliefs than the ones they already inhabit - and when they fail to get that, they have a tendency to flounce (a technical term), write nasty emails to me, and generally throw a tantrum because their comfort zones got rattled somewhere in the process.

My mentor once said:  "Don't come knocking on the devil's door if you don't want to get dragged into Hell." Lot of truth there - and in so many ways, the acquisition of Knowledge can be a lot like knocking on the devil's door. What we learn essentially destroys the world as we know it. Sometimes we're ready for that. Usually we're not. And knowing the difference can save a lot of wasted time, energy and emotional entanglements with that "devil."

There is no going back the way you came,
because what is forever changed...
is you.

This is why Knowledge has been called "forbidden fruit" and why the whole allegory of Adam and Eve got spun into being in the first place. Once we *see* the truth after ingesting "forbidden fruit", there's no going back to that idyllic Garden of Eden - just as apprentices throughout history have found that there is no way to UNknow what we have come to Know. In the literature of Carlos Castaneda, one of the apprentices (Pablito) lamented that he wished he could return to his normal life, before he met don Juan, before he *saw* the world and himself as they are. In The Matrix, Cypher wants nothing more than to return to the program, and all for the illusion of a juicy steak. In Interview With the Vampire, Louis is told to "Go back the way you came." But of course... there is no going back. Those roads are closed or worse... never existed at all once seen for the illusions they always were.

And yet... that's the price of freedom - finally sticking one's head above the chaotic waters of the program, and coming to actually see that 1) the world is nothing like we have been taught to believe; and 2) we ourselves are nothing like we have come to think; and 3) this is how our comfortable little world ends.  Because once seen, no amount of pissing and moaning and self-indulgence is going to reset the controls. Game over. Congratulations - you are now enlightened, and chances are you don't like it much at all, because another quality of light is that it tends to burn the eyes, especially if you've just emerged from a dark room.

Put another way - if you're not ready to have your world view shattered, you might want to consider reading Mary Poppins instead of Carlos Castaneda - and you certainly might want to consider whether you REALLY want to interact directly with others on the path who can so easily yank the rug right out from under your false belief systems. A lot of people say they want to meet a teacher or a nagual, but few really do, because few really want their comfort zones challenged in any sort of meaningful way. Particularly in our Western culture, we are programmed to think we already know everything, and as I learned from my own teachers - "Someone who believes they already know everything can learn nothing." But, of course, nobody wants to admit (even to themselves) that the information they've spent a lifetime gathering is largely just consensual programming bullshit - and so they usually end up shooting the messenger while sticking their fingers in their ears and humming "Mary Had A Little Lamb" in an attempt to drown out the message which now haunts even their Dreams.

Bottom line - if your beliefs and your feelings form the edifice of your identity, and if you NEED that edifice in order to get through your day... the quest for Knowledge probably isn't a journey you want to undertake. I say this not to be discouraging, but to warn you as my own mentor once warned me. The real "price of freedom" is losing the scared little phantom self who cowers in the shadows of your mind. The real "price of freedom" is coming to truly *see* that this is a solitary journey and the only thing that can hold you together in the face of infinity is your Knowledge, your experience, and your commitment to undoing all of those programs that hold the false consensus reality together (or "the foreign installation", if you prefer).

You are the most powerful being in the universe. Only when you take back the energy you have invested in the false belief systems of the consensus will you be able to accumulate enough personal power to actually *see* that.

Do you want to be free, or do you want to go on believing in a flat earth at the center of the universe where gods and devils control your fate?  It's up to you.

__________________

Copyright 2015, by Della Van Hise
All Rights Reserved