Act Like A Lady!

"Act like a lady!" "Act like a warrior!" "Act like a nagual!" 

Acting... 

When I was a little girl and my mother told me to "act like a lady" in church, I wondered if that meant I would have to douse myself in cheap perfume, put on a flowered dress that stank of stale beer, wear blue eye shadow so thick it would cake & crack, and give blow jobs to bald deacons in the dressing room of the choir loft - because that was my perception of how "ladies" acted in the church where I grew up, and so I could not imagine why my mother would wish a similar fate on me, since I had never perceived her to behave in such a manner, nor to admire such behavior in others. 

When I asked her one day why she wanted me to "act like a lady in church," she bean explaining the attributes of a lady. A lady walks with good posture and always smiles when meeting eyes with someone. A lady wears her best dress on Sunday, and never speaks to a gentleman unless he speaks first. A lady does not run through the cemetery with her friends after Sunday School, nor does a lady talk above the volume of a soft murmur. And above all else, a lady never asks questions - for to do so implies a masculine curiosity that is not becoming to a lady. 

I was very young at the time these rules were laid down to me, and suffice it to say I found them bizarre and constrictive at best, and I was never much of a lady, nor did I ever want to be. Secretly, I suspect my mother was proud of the fact that I was a tomboy with a penchant for bringing home stray cats, and for driving the preacher and all those fine "church ladies" crazy with all my questions that couldn't be answered. 

But there were those words, which she repeated nonetheless. "Act like a lady." Act. 

As I grew older, I understood what was intended by the words, but it didn't make the sentiment itself any less insane in my book. While my art teacher was fond of saying, "Think for yourself and paint what is in your heart's eye," my home economics teacher would spew forth such platitudes as, "Learn all you can in my class, girls, so that you will be able to attract a good man, and cook a decent meal for your husband and children." And, of course, this was often accompanied by the suggestion: "And don't forget to act like ladies around the boys!" 

Maybe I was born with an assemblage point that was never quite plugged into this world, but I often found myself wondering even as far back as early childhood why such an emphasis was placed on attempting to convince others that we were somehow different than we actually are. On the one hand, well-meaning teachers & parents would say, "Just be yourself." On the other hand, there was that warcry: "Act like a lady! Act like a winner! Act like a Christian! Act like an American!" 

As I grew older and eventually embarked on this path, I began to realize just how disassociated most people really are from their own authenticity - largely as a direct result of the fact that most of them seem to spend their lives "acting" and pretending. But even more curious to me is the fact that there seems to come a point when the actors forget they are acting, and start to believe it is somehow real... and worse STILL, is when their own expectations begin to manifest in the very same words they may have shunned as children, and they start telling others to "Act like a lady!" Chances are, they don't even hear themselves, or if they do, they have simply bought into the program that was put onto them by their parents, and their parents before them. Ignorance is also a lineage, when one really examines it. 

Okay, I can write a lot of that off to the inexplicable behavior of phantoms, and think nothing of it. Those who choose to walk through life without ever recognizing the base programs or the presence of the social matrix really aren't responsible for their belief systems, even though they COULD be... but that's another story for another day. Point is - when I am dealing with phantoms, it is a given that they will behave as phantoms and hold the values of phantoms. 

But when I am dealing with people who profess to be warriors, and I hear that type of program coming out of their mouth, I am amazed that they do not hear their own rhetoric. Recently, during an otherwise neutral conversation with a man I've known for years, he began saying to me, "Act like a nagual, Della! If you don't act like a nagual, then you're not one!" 

Well... what does a nagual act like? I wondered. Not that I had any intention of taking acting lessons from Carlos or Genaro or even don Juan himself, but it caused me to stop and ask myself - Upon what is this man basing his demands that I should "act like a nagual"? If I were to act like don Juan, I would be a fraud, for I do not have Juan's patience. If I were to act like Genaro, I would be out of character, for it is not my nature to be quite so playful in the manner Genaro exhibited in CC's books. If I were to act like the nagual Julian, perhaps I would be closer to my true authenticity, for of all the naguals described by Carlos, I would have to say that I identify the strongest with Julian... and yet... to act like Julian would be Della-acting-like-Julian, and not Della at all. 

So what does a nagual "act" like? Does s/he walk around all day spouting great wisdom and smacking others on the back in an attempt to shift their assemblage point? Does a nagual sit by a campfire in the desert eating peyote buttons and doling out mushrooms to would-be apprentices? Does a nagual put on some mysterious facade under the guise of "being unknown" such as Carlos seemingly did for a time? 

What does a nagual act like? 

What a lot of people fail to recognize is that a nagual is not automatically a wise man or a sage. A nagual is simply a double being - someone with "extra" energy that may be viewed by a seer as being comprised of four compartments rather than the usual two. There are thousands of naguals on this earth, but I would hazard a guess that less than a thousand of them are even aware of their nature, and far less than that will ever embark on the journey to become wo/men of Knowledge. 

So, first of all, to say one is a nagual is not to say they are enlightened, and even if they are, I have yet to find any set of rules that might define how a nagual (or even a wo/man of Knowledge, for that matter) might be expected to "act." How does a brunette act? How does a man with green eyes act? How does a black man act? How does an Asian woman act? 

Once we break free of our expectations and our self-imposed stereotypes, we will generally find (delightfully so!) that most people have at their core an authenticity which has nothing to do with *what* they are, but with *who* they are - and this is especially true with warriors who have begun the move toward 'losing the human form'. The key to recognizing that authenticity in others is learning to recognize it in ourselves - and that's one of the hardest tasks warriors will face, for it involves the willingness to let go of belief systems and expectations which are directly and deeply related to one's own ego and need to feel "right". 

What needs to be recognized is that so much of what we think we know is really only what we have come to believe - and when we are willing to examine our own expectations and belief systems is when we have a prime opportunity to expand our awareness in multiple directions through a simple act of letting go of some idea about someone else that has absolutely nothing to do with the person whatsoever. Not all naguals are going to live up to your expectations of don Juan, and not all blondes are dumb. Those are nothing more than belief systems, and ONLY when they are released does the warrior engage with the opportunity to really SEE what-is, instead of only BELIEVING in his own pre-existing notions of what something *should* be. If you spend your whole life looking for don Juan, you may miss out on the man or woman of knowledge who is sitting next to you on the bus because they don't live up to what you *think* they *should* be. 

And then, of course, there's the secondary programs running in the background which support the primary program. For example, dontcha just love the logic when someone says, "If you say you are a teacher, then you aren't. If you say you are a nagual, you obviously aren't!" 

Er... if I claim to be blonde, then I must be lying. If I claim to have green eyes, I am obfuscating. And if I put forth that I am a writer, I am certainly a fraud. Of course, if I say I am NOT blonde, then I have BECOME a liar. If I put blue contacts in my eyes to conceal their greenness, then I really AM obfuscating. And if I say I am NOT a writer, it is pointed out to me that I write volumes every day! The ultimate no-win scenario, the kobayashi-maru of the century.

Kinda like the old Monty Python logic of LIFE OF BRIAN. Having been mistaken for Christ, Brian adamantly protests to a large crowd of followers, saying, "I am NOT the messiah!" And, from deep in the crowd, a little voice says, "Only the true messiah denies his divinity!" Can't win. 

So what does any of this have to do with being a warrior? Simply this: whenever you find yourself having negative or doubtful thoughts about someone else, stop and ask yourself, "How much of this is based on what I know of this situation through my own experience, and how much is based on my idea-matrix of what *should* be?" In other words - how much is valid through your own direct experience, and how much is nothing more than some expectation that has taken up residence in your head as a result of some book you read or something someone else told you? 

What my mother saw as a lady was certainly not the same thing I saw as a lady - and what someone else defines as a nagual is all but irrelevant to me. As I said to my friend lately - I'm not here to live up to anyone else's expectations, nor am I interested in attempting to 'prove' something which is, in essence, non-provable. Rather like trying to prove there is a god. Or prove their isn't. The evidence for either argument is all around us, so it is up to each of us to decide how we will engage with the question. Oh, I could "act" like someone else might want me to be, but ultimately that would only prove to them and to myself that I am not authentic... so I ask again... 

What does a nagual act like? 

The answer is simple: a nagual does not act. A nagual simply is. 

And it is in the uniqueness of being that a nagual finds her power. 

There is no act.

Castaneda's "Flyers" as Agent Smith

 

My experience with flyers has been rather unusual, but I've come to think so-called "flyers" may be a lot more intelligent than we believe, and a lot more cunning (and that's if they exist at all). To my knowledge, I've never been attacked directly by a flyer, or if I was the attack was brief and the flyer didn't like the taste of me. I'll take that as a compliment. What I have observed is that flyers have the capacity to act in the role of Agent Smith. (For anyone not familiar with THE MATRIX, Agent Smith is an intelligent extension of "The Program" who has the ability to essentially possess a human host and then attack his target. IOW, Agent Smith can look like anyone.)

In my own life, when I've found myself under heavy attack, it hasn't come from the flyers, but from Agent Smith, almost always having possessed the body of someone close to me. Crazy as this may sound, I'm not entirely kidding. In fact, I'm entirely serious. And the attacks almost always center around my spiritual path, in one way or another.

When I first launched the Quantum Shaman website back in 2000, I found myself suddenly under heavy attack from a relative. This person had always been a bit squirrly where I'm concerned, but when the website went online, one would have thought I had slaughtered their firstborn and eaten his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti. The attacks were so off the wall that I came to the conclusion they must be possessed, for their behaviour had altered so radically that this was (literally) not the same person I had known for over 20 years. Then one day, when it became apparent that the attacks were not going to change my mind, were not going to convince me to take the website down, and were not going to get me to "tow the party line," the attacks stopped. The possession was terminated and the person reverted to their former self.

At that point, certain friends began behaving strangely. An entourage even showed up on my doorstep one day in what is now called an "intervention." (Anyone who knows me would know how that was destined to end.)  These were long-time friends who had suddenly decided among themselves that I needed to smile more. I needed to believe as they believed. I needed to tell the world that I loved daisies and puppies (I do love puppies & daisies, but kittens and roses are my preference.) I needed to be who they wanted me to be, even if it meant denouncing who I-Am. Whether these "friends" ever came to their senses and regained their own identity again, I never knew, because whatever had possessed them was sufficiently powerful that it began recruiting others to its cause, and the whole thing started to look like a zombie apocalypse from The Walking Dead. At the risk of sounding paranoid, a lot of people wanted to eat my brains - not just for the yummy taste, but because I was apparently rocking the consensual boat - first with the website, and later with my first book, Quantum Shaman (Diary of a Nagual Woman). Without every trying, without ever thinking it was possible, I had become a threat to the status quo of the consensual agreement.

Most recently a long-time friend got herself possessed by that rascal, Agent Smith, and came at me out of the blue with all sorts of really bizarre accusations that would have been right at home in a horror movie. Having known this person for so long, I knew it wasn't the person I've known, and of course the primary focus of her attack was what she called "your path". Unfortunately, I'm not Sam Winchester - don't know the proper Latin incantations to exorcise a demon from its human host, and not even sure an exorcism would have much effect on the mind-virus known as Agent Smith. After all, Smith isn't a demon. He isn't even human.  He is a reflection of our collective false beliefs - a hive mind thriving on agreement and the need for unwavering conformity. Agent Smith is the antithesis of spiritual evolution, for he is the cornerstone of stasis and the enforcer of the comfort zone of false beliefs.

Sadly, these possessions by Agent Smith can last for years, or they can spontaneously end for no apparent reason. Either way, when I see it happening, I've learned to employ the fine art of detachment and leave the ranting lunatic hopping up and down in its own droppings. Walk away - without anger or animosity, and especially without some half-baked notion that you can "fix" it. You can't. You can only "fix" yourself - and the flyer's agenda is to make sure you are so caught up in drama and chaos that you never get around to that little task. While you're swinging your sword at demons and flyers, life is going by, time is constricting around your throat, and death has taken one step closer.

Point here is simply this. Don't make the mistake of thinking flyers are just black shadows who nibble on your toes to eat your energy. If flyers exist at all, my experience has been that they are literally agents of the consensus - and they will come at you when and where you least expect it. The more you become aware of their tactics, the more absurdly obvious the flyers will become. Yes, I do wholly realize how crazy this may sound, but I can't deny a pattern that began to make itself obvious from the moment I embarked on this journey.

Whether we like it or not, whether we practice in secret or have a well known website or blog or even just post occasionally on private groups... warriors who are serious about their path are also a very serious threat to the complacency of the phantoms, because without ever intending it, we make others think, and the flyers do not want people to think for themselves. In fact, when you do encounter a "flyer" you can often identify them by the fact that you'll hear everybody else's words but their own spewing forth from their mouths. They are conduits, empty vessels - and as such they make an ideal host for the agendas of the consensus itself. They will tell you  how and who to be, precisely what they expect from you, and they will be sure to let you know what a disappointment you are for not dropping your life to live up to their expectations of who and what you should be. The roller coaster ride is really quite remarkable, and if you don't learn to see it coming, you may hop on board for a few laps before you know what hit you.

This is one reason I have advocated the philosophy: "The only winning move is not to play." Many warriors (particularly younger ones) tend to think that engaging "difficult people" is a good exercise in stalking, or a good way to "practice". In reality, when someone you know suddenly starts acting like a hostile stranger, chances are it's because they ARE a stranger, and trying to reason with them is like mistaking a force 5 tornado for a harmless little whirlwind. Do so at your own peril.

Agent Smith is not your friend. He's just squatting in their body, hoping you won't notice. Be aware. The "flyers" are all around you, closer than you think.
______________________
Copyright 2015 by Della Van Hise
All Rights Reserved

The High Cost of Enlightenment

If all books were free, who
would have the time to write them?

In a recent discussion on the Carlos Castaneda group on Facebook, someone commented that a well-known "nagual" takes money for his teachings. I hear this argument often - not just about one man, but about many naguals, including myself. But here's the thing - Carlos used to bring don Juan a sack of groceries, and drive him all over Mexico. And while it wasn't exactly a monetary "payment", it was a form of barter appropriate to the circumstances. But isn't money just another item of barter? Are our teachers (school teachers, college professors, et al) expected to perform their services for free? Do we go to a professional such as a doctor or lawyer and expect that we will not receive a bill?

Point here is simply that nothing in life is really free. I've had people argue with me to the point of mutual unfriending about internet piracy. Many seem to think it's perfectly okay to download (read: steal) a book or movie or song from a pirate site, in which case the writer/artist never gets paid and eventually has to start asking, "Would you like fries with that?"

At THAT point, their art is usually forfeit altogether, and any knowledge or artistic talent they may possess never sees the light of day. The consensual agreement (and the foreign installation) wins because some deep-rooted programs tell some seekers that it is "wrong" for a teacher/artist/writer/musician to take money for their time and efforts.

The bullshit justifications for piracy  run rampant.
Calling a turd a rose won't make it stink any less.
Think before you stink.

All of the seekers I've ever worked with have jobs of one sort or another, and they expect to get paid. Why is it different for teachers? Is it just a sense of entitlement? Do we EXPECT everything in life to be free? I'll be sure to tell that to the door greeter at Walmart when I walk out without paying for a big flat screen t.v. and a stack of DVDs and books. "Information and the means to access it should always be free!" I'll say to her... just before the cops pull up and arrest me.

This is one reason I have personally tried to make myself and my knowledge available online. I've even encouraged other "naguals" to do the same, but most don't and most won't. One even said to me, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Meaning - why would anyone buy my book when I make it (and myself) available for free. Well... I don't have an answer to that, and it doesn't really concern me. I work for a living, own my own retail business, and do editing and book packaging for other writers as a sideline. Sure, I love it when someone buys my book or asks me for an intensive personal/private consultation, but I also love (and benefit spiritually!) from being able to interact directly with others in discussion groups, or sitting in a restaurant over lunch. That facilitates my own assimilation and - hopefully - has the potential to assist someone else with their own. To me, that's a great exchange of energy.

I don't think there are any pat answers to this question. I have come under heavy criticism in the past for taking money for my books and for my private consultations. But here's the thing - I'd be HAPPY to trade my knowledge for a sack of groceries, but that isn't the world we live in NOW. So while I sometimes WISH everything in life could be free, I can't condemn people who take money (or other forms of barter) in exchange for their expertise. The question becomes - do you as the seeker benefit from the exchange, in which case it was a price well paid. If you DON'T benefit, either find a different teacher and move on, or turn to the BEST teacher in the house: the one who lives inside your own head.

The best guru in the world is the one inside your head.

You really DO have access to all the Knowledge in the universe - through the art of silent knowing (or gnosis, as I prefer to call it). You don't even need a teacher to access that knowledge, or to learn HOW to access it, despite what you have been programmed to believe. It is right there. It is in YOU. You can call it your double or your higher self or Uncle Bob - but it's in YOU and it won't cost you a dime. But if you're successful, what it WILL cost you are all of those belief systems that tell you there's a right way and a wrong way to spiritual enlightenment. In reality, the only RIGHT way is whatever way WORKS (whether solo or with a teacher). The only WRONG way is to decide there are WRONG ways and stand on your high-fallutin' principles instead of having the courage to shatter those false foundations.

Nobody owes you anything. Nothing is ever free. When you understand that is when you will have taken a huge step toward the evolution of your awareness and freedom from the machine.

Hero or Villain?

What determines a "hero" or a "villain" is nothing more than random chance. Let's say a friend tells you he's going to jump off a cliff because his wife just left him, he has terminal cancer, and the bank has begun foreclosure procedures on his house. The two of you are standing at the edge of the abyss, and he starts to jump, but because you love him, you reach out and prevent him from jumping.

Now, let's say that after you pull him back from the abyss, his wife has a change of heart and decides to stay with him. He falls in love with her all over again, and that sends the cancer into spontaneous remission. Because he's now able to work again, the bank gives him an extension, and he is able to get his life back in order. You're a hero - because if you hadn't pulled him back from the cliff, he'd be deader'n a doornail.

Or... Let's say you pull him back from the cliff, but his wife DOESN'T change her mind. She leaves him, and his disease gets worse instead of better. He lapses into a long-term coma, the house is repossessed by the bank, and so there's not only no inheritance for ANYBODY, but his remaining family are left with his medical bills, and must atke out liens on their own property in an attempt to do what's "right", and as a result of all of this, even MORE lives are ruined. You're a schmuck! You shouldda let him jump!

And yet... the action you took was precisely the same, and can only be judged in hindsight by the outcome. The. Action. Was. Precisely. The. Same.

You did what you truly believed was right, and if things had gone another way, you would be the hero, instead of beating yourself up with guilt. But... ultimately, of course, there's no difference in what you did, so obviously there can be no "fault". It's just what is, and as with everything else in life, it can only be judged and evaluated in hindsight. We're all experts on the past, but most are blind as bats where the future is concerned.
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From a post to the Carlos Castaneda discussion group on Facebook

End of the Road

I recently had a warrior say to me: "I have gone so far down this path till there is no path."

The truth about paths is that they do end, and there is nothing you can do about it from this point forward except to forge your own path. When I talk about "the path" it is seen on many different levels. There is essentially what might be called a "process" in the beginning - some warriors connect with it through Castaneda, others through Zen, others through various & sundry manifestations of shamanism. But there comes a time when one runs out of "road", and there is just the warrior and the worlds, with no real path left to follow. You have the Knowledge, but no clear indicator of where to take it, what to do with it, nothing at all. Just you and the end of the road – and yet, it seems that when we run out of road is when the journey really begins. And that's the part of the equation that is difficult, scary, and has caused more warriors to turn back than any encounter with allies or power plants.

When I think of the 4 enemies of a man of Knowledge, the way I see it is this: fear is obvious, and something we deal with as an ongoing enemy. Clarity comes and we revel in it - sometimes getting lost in it for years. But as we come to the end of the "path", we see with that clarity that there is no more path - just a vast, untouched universe waiting for the creator's hand. It's knowing that we ARE the creator that gives us pause and brings us face to face with Power. Usually, there is a relatively long period of time during which we simply don't know what to do with our Power, and it's at that point that a lot of warriors turn back - because they have become accustomed to being followers of a path rather than FORGERS of a path.

When we're actually following that initial path (whether Castaneda, Zen, or whatever), if we are impeccable, it could be said we're not really following, but learning from the paths of others. But then comes that day when we have learned all our teachers can teach us, and we then have to go out and push the envelope of Knowledge "where no man has gone before.” There's something to that old STAR TREK cliche - because that is the warrior's ultimate journey. Where NO man has gone before. You are the first, and so the "path" disappears from beneath your feet, leaving you only with Knowledge.

A few years back, I was playing with a concept which I called "beyond human comprehension"; and a related concept "beyond human experience." This is the territory of the nagual, which defies words almost entirely. But what it amounts to is that there is an almost physical pain/confusion/anguish which the warrior begins to experience when s/he comes up against this idea of "beyond human experience." There is much humans cannot comprehend, yet it is in the attempt to do so that we push the envelope "beyond human experience". That pushing is, in itself, part of our evolution.

Sadly - very few ever make it to the end of the path, because the sorcerer's secret is that the path itself is part of the tonal, and is comforting and alluring in so very many ways. To admit that the path HAS an end, and to find oneself facing only the vast Unknown means evolving to a new level of thinking, a new level of responsibility, a new level of awareness - and THAT is far scarier than ANYTHING on "the path" the warrior has taken to get to this point.

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Copyright 2015 by Della Van Hise

All Rights Reserved

Do good and evil exist?

I often hear terms such as "dark side" and "light-worker." Do you believe there is a dark side? Or a light side, for that matter? We already know one cannot exist without the other (at least the physical properties of light and dark). But how would you classify "the dark side"? Does it exist as a "thing" or is it only one more manmade assignation? Where would one sign up for "The Dark Side?" And who decides if one is a light-worker or just a new age bliss ninny?

My reason for these questions on a large group I moderate on Facebook (Carlos Castaneda) was to find out where other seekers' thinking lies with regard to "the dark and the light." Personally, I think it's all a matter of *seeing*. From a seer's perspective, it can usually be determined that the thing we BELIEVE are "dark" may not be at all (and vice versa re the "light"). It's all a position of the assemblage point - a matter of perspective and belief systems.

As long as a warrior believes it is his/her duty or obligation to engage in a battle against "the dark side", what that warrior is really doing is engaging in a battle against his or her own beliefs and fears. Nothing wrong with that - it can be beneficial - but ONLY if the warrior KNOWS that is what s/he is doing. As long as the warrior BELIEVES there is a "dark side" the warrior CREATES the dark side as a juxtaposition to her own beliefs that she herself is of the "light."

As I have come to see it, the whole so-called battle between good and evil is basically a distraction going on in the center ring of the 3-ring circus of life. In the other two rings... the consensual reality churns along in one, while the infinite unknown sits back and laughs in the other. Overhead, the eagle swings on the trapeze, waiting for the performers to slaughter one another and send him his dinner.

The only thing in the cave of darkness is what we take with us.
True or false?

Buddha said, "We are what we think." My mentor said (and so did Voldemort), "There is no good or evil, only power." In the big picture, I have found that seemingly grim statement to be true. Good and evil are concepts, just like light and dark. When Luke Skywalker was required to go into the cave, he asked Yoda, "What's in there?" To which the little green guy replied, "Only what you take with you."

Isn't that the case with just about everything if you REALLY stop to think about it? There is no item in the world that one can hold in their hand and say, "This is good" or "This is evil." Humans assign those attributes according to what they already BELIEVE, and then act out their part in the center ring accordingly.

Why does this matter? Maybe it doesn't. Or maybe having the awareness that what we BELIEVE creates the reality we then inhabit can give us the awareness to STOP believing things MUST be light or dark, good or evil, god or devil. Without such beliefs, most conflicts would be resolved before they ever start, most wars would never be fought, and maybe the eagle would have to tighten his belt just a little.

Evil is a choice. Good is a decision. The devil is in the details.
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Stalking the Authentic Self

When someone asks who you are, they generally want to know your name, whether you’re married or single, and if you might sleep with them. Or maybe they’re just being polite and really don’t give a damn. Most likely that’s the case. But let’s assume for a moment that you really want to answer the question – “Who am I?”

Where do you look for answers?

The obvious answer is too obvious: Look inside yourself, young Grasshopper.

And yet... how do you look inside yourself if you don’t know who you are?

Ain’t that annoying?

________________________

One of the hardest tasks we face as warriors involves coming face to face with the characters we play in our day to day lives. People who adopt roles without awareness usually find themselves in a heap of misery, because the role and reality usually don't go hand in hand.

Actors on Broadway who perform the same role for years have reported that eventually they start to lose the boundary between themselves and their character, and surely the same is true for humans in general. Live the lie long enough, and eventually the lie is all there is.

A warrior may adopt a role, but it is always done with awareness. This is the art of stalking as it was put forth by Carlos Castaneda. For example, there have been times at one of our events when I will quite happily play the role of The Dumb Blonde, because customers are less intimidated. Easiest way to explain it - when someone asks me, "So, how are you doing today?" my response is going to be what the person wants/needs to hear. "I'm great! You?" If I answered their questions truthfully, they would flee in terror. It might look something like this:

"How are you doing today?" Joe Bloke asks.

The more honest response might be... "Well, lemme see, Joe. We are, in theory, beings who are going to die, and short of taking responsibility for every moment we are alive, we will most likely fall into the abyss, experiencing the absolute annihilation of any awareness we ever possessed.The planet herself is in stage 4 terminal cancer and may be knocked out of orbit at any moment by a rogue comet, but other than that, I'm having a great day. You?"

All true, but inappropriate for the circumstances. So the stalker puts on her mask, plays her role, but always with the total knowledge that the mask is not the self. It is a tool – a survival mechanism. And yet, the moment we forget it’s a tool, we run the same risk as anyone else.

"Under no circumstances is it acceptable to put on the mask of a phantom, for all too often, what you do not realize is that the phantoms have lined the mask with glue that is anesthesia and pleasant amnesia." (Orlando – August 2001)

So what? “What does that have to do with me?” you ask.

Next time you find yourself in an intense situation arguing vehemently for your own point of view, stop for a moment and listen to your internal dialog. You will probably hear the voice of your character. You may even see him in his super hero costume, arguing for truth, justice and the Righteous Way.

Grab the nearest gun. Shoot the fucker. Then run like hell off the stage and out of the play.

The authentic self is the one standing in the shadows, waiting for you to wake up. No capes or masks. No magical weapons. No special abilities. Except one.

The authentic self is the most powerful being in the universe, because from the cohesive assemblage point of the authentic self, there is nothing you cannot do.

________________

An abridged excerpt from "Scrawls On the Walls of the Soul" (Della Van Hise)

All Rights Reserved

Knocking On the Devil's Door

"Don't come knocking on the devil's door
if you don't want to get dragged into Hell."

"The Price of Freedom"


A lot of people come to me saying they "want to learn." And yet, all too often, I've found that really isn't true. Even among seekers, many are just looking for agreements, a different set of false beliefs than the ones they already inhabit - and when they fail to get that, they have a tendency to flounce (a technical term), write nasty emails to me, and generally throw a tantrum because their comfort zones got rattled somewhere in the process.

My mentor once said:  "Don't come knocking on the devil's door if you don't want to get dragged into Hell." Lot of truth there - and in so many ways, the acquisition of Knowledge can be a lot like knocking on the devil's door. What we learn essentially destroys the world as we know it. Sometimes we're ready for that. Usually we're not. And knowing the difference can save a lot of wasted time, energy and emotional entanglements with that "devil."

There is no going back the way you came,
because what is forever changed...
is you.

This is why Knowledge has been called "forbidden fruit" and why the whole allegory of Adam and Eve got spun into being in the first place. Once we *see* the truth after ingesting "forbidden fruit", there's no going back to that idyllic Garden of Eden - just as apprentices throughout history have found that there is no way to UNknow what we have come to Know. In the literature of Carlos Castaneda, one of the apprentices (Pablito) lamented that he wished he could return to his normal life, before he met don Juan, before he *saw* the world and himself as they are. In The Matrix, Cypher wants nothing more than to return to the program, and all for the illusion of a juicy steak. In Interview With the Vampire, Louis is told to "Go back the way you came." But of course... there is no going back. Those roads are closed or worse... never existed at all once seen for the illusions they always were.

And yet... that's the price of freedom - finally sticking one's head above the chaotic waters of the program, and coming to actually see that 1) the world is nothing like we have been taught to believe; and 2) we ourselves are nothing like we have come to think; and 3) this is how our comfortable little world ends.  Because once seen, no amount of pissing and moaning and self-indulgence is going to reset the controls. Game over. Congratulations - you are now enlightened, and chances are you don't like it much at all, because another quality of light is that it tends to burn the eyes, especially if you've just emerged from a dark room.

Put another way - if you're not ready to have your world view shattered, you might want to consider reading Mary Poppins instead of Carlos Castaneda - and you certainly might want to consider whether you REALLY want to interact directly with others on the path who can so easily yank the rug right out from under your false belief systems. A lot of people say they want to meet a teacher or a nagual, but few really do, because few really want their comfort zones challenged in any sort of meaningful way. Particularly in our Western culture, we are programmed to think we already know everything, and as I learned from my own teachers - "Someone who believes they already know everything can learn nothing." But, of course, nobody wants to admit (even to themselves) that the information they've spent a lifetime gathering is largely just consensual programming bullshit - and so they usually end up shooting the messenger while sticking their fingers in their ears and humming "Mary Had A Little Lamb" in an attempt to drown out the message which now haunts even their Dreams.

Bottom line - if your beliefs and your feelings form the edifice of your identity, and if you NEED that edifice in order to get through your day... the quest for Knowledge probably isn't a journey you want to undertake. I say this not to be discouraging, but to warn you as my own mentor once warned me. The real "price of freedom" is losing the scared little phantom self who cowers in the shadows of your mind. The real "price of freedom" is coming to truly *see* that this is a solitary journey and the only thing that can hold you together in the face of infinity is your Knowledge, your experience, and your commitment to undoing all of those programs that hold the false consensus reality together (or "the foreign installation", if you prefer).

You are the most powerful being in the universe. Only when you take back the energy you have invested in the false belief systems of the consensus will you be able to accumulate enough personal power to actually *see* that.

Do you want to be free, or do you want to go on believing in a flat earth at the center of the universe where gods and devils control your fate?  It's up to you.

__________________

Copyright 2015, by Della Van Hise
All Rights Reserved

Once Upon a "Time"

(Further thoughts on "The First Fundamental Lie")

Once upon a time... I was at a street fair in Palm Springs, standing in our booth. It was long after sundown and the crowds had thinned as closing time approached. Two young men came into the booth and one of them looked at me with a deep intensity. "Read Tertium Organum by Ouspensky - it will teach you about time," the young man said. I learned a lot from that book. I learned a lot MORE from the young messenger who appeared out of the nothing and just as quickly returned to it. The world (and time) are nothing like we have been taught to believe. In a recent discussion in the Carlos Castaneda group on Facebook, someone mentioned that 'without time we couldn't experience timelessness'. But is that really true? Is that only another dualistic approach to what might simply be a non-dualistic "entity"? In my excursions with the mushroom ally, a lot of my instruction in the Otherworld has been on the subject of "time" - and I can only assume there is a reason my allies continue attempting to reveal the "truth" about time. They insist it is an "illusion," but that is only a word, a description. It may be an "illusion" in the sense that our humanform (lack of) comprehension is such that we have concluded that flies cause garbage.The allies (and my double) speak of "moving between the tick and tock of the clock," which would imply existence in a "timeless" world is possible right "here" and "now" (though both of those words require the presence of "time", and so the conundrum grows.) As I see it, both "time" and "timelessness" exist within the paradoxical limitless confines of what we can only call "the hologram". It's literally the sphere of all possibility - the eye of god looking at him/herself in the mirror, and coming to realize that s/he is the creator and janitor of it all, through the window of awareness. Simultaneously - thou art god (create yourself accordingly). Words cannot unravel time even if time might occasionally allow words to be more easily unraveled.

When I have sat in the gnosis of silent knowing and just observed "time", what I inevitably *see* is the blackness of the void between galaxies. It is a non-entity. Light creates time, and so my double has also spoken of moving "between the particles of light." The sorcerer who seeks to "leave this earth in the manner of a sorcerer" understands this, and further understands that this is not "death" but a manner of transcendence, even transmogrification. The only way to defy "time" (and death) is to become transparent to them both by transcending the human form and therefore (automatically) moving between the particles of light, moving in between the tick and the tock of the clock. To become "timeless" we become that No-thing which looks to a *seer* like the void. Of course... the void is immeasurable (and immeasurably sentient), even in a single square centimeter of itself (which may well be the square centimeter of chance DJM spoke of). We are humans trying to comprehend a concept that is, quite simply, beyond human comprehension. The only way to transcend that "limitation" is to transcend the human form. Silent knowing is the first step in that direction. The second step is avoiding the automatic (and erroneous) conclusions about "time" which come from a lifetime of programming and erroneous input. We can't come to correct conclusions when we have been spoon fed incorrect information. Time will tell. __________________ Copyright 2014 by Della Van Hise All Rights Reserved

Recommended reading: Tertium Organum (Ouspensky) The Holographic Universe (Michael Talbot)

The First Fundamental Lie

A lesson from the double

The human paradigm is built on the false notion of Time, and so it could be observed by one outside of the matrix that the entire paradigm itself is erroneous because it has created within its subjects a viewpoint that is based on what inorganics (immortals) call The First Fundamental Lie. And yet, because you have always existed within the confines of The Lie, how does one undo a lifetime of belief when that belief has long since been ingrained as truth? It is one thing to undo the programs that make you human, but another thing entirely to unfasten the precepts that are fundamental to your notion of what it means to BE human – essentially what you have come to accept as ‘human abilities’ and ‘human limitations’.

Think on this, for it is only when you are willing to sacrifice The Lie that you will be able to glimpse these fundamental elements of creation which are channeled through your essential be-ing pure and limitless, but limited entirely by The Lie which was designed to do just that. Ironic, yes? You are made of the pixels and photons of limitlessness and timelessness, yet unable to access that power because the nature of any consensus is to create parameters which can only limit the power and understanding of the thing itself. And yet, here is the secret you have yet to Real-ize, contained in the question: WHO is creating the consensus?

When I say I am the only god I know, I mean this literally and without reservation, for the truest fundamental understanding of creation is that it is a self-willed manifestation through which one experiences Every-Thing while hiding from oneself that very truth. You experience your ordinary reality as "Alexis" or "Bill," yet there are continuous clues that this is only a single frequency on a much larger radio. But if all the stations were playing simultaneously, there would be no sense of organization (which is fundamental to what it means to be human, and therefore infinitely self-limiting), and so The Lie (which has become almost an entity unto itself, but really cannot *be* an entity because it is contained within the paradigm itself) has woven fables and fairy tales which try to tell you who and what you are, and for as long as you accept its intentional limitations, you will never have the ability to wrap your mind around yourself because The Lie’s primary agenda is to prevent you from doing just exactly that.

This is not something you will unravel by thinking. It is something you will either *see* or not, depending entirely on how much you are willing to release your human beliefs so as to embrace your Totality.

_______________

Copyright 2014 by Della Van Hise

All Rights Reserved

The Death of Carlos Castaneda: Fact or Fiction?

"REALITY IS A PROGRESSIVE BELIEF"

The words above come to me as I am trying to fall asleep on the summer solstice of 1998.  We had just learned of the death of Carlos Castaneda, though just as his life was a mystery, so is his reputed “death”.  It happened on April 27 at his home in LA.  According to the LA TIMES, the body was cremated immediately & the ashes taken to Mexico.  No funeral, no body.  Just the word of the doctor & his agent.  Did he really die at all, or has he merely broken ties with this world completely in order to be utterly “free” of consensual constraints?

We don’t realize how bound we are to this society just by virtue of being alive, being human.  We are expected to behave in certain ways because we are human, & so we do.  If we live, we are expected to age, to become sick & finally die – and so we do.  Merely by virtue of being alive we are already condemned to death by the programmed belief system of the entire world – a belief system that has nothing to do with religion or culture, but the belief system which is the foundation of Man himself. If one person knows you are alive, you are then bound to this belief system through all 7 billion people on earth – i.e., you do not need to be seen as Jack or Jill or Carlos, but only as human to be trapped & condemned by the energetic constructs of those (false) belief systems.

I see this as a higher truth that can’t be ignored if we really do intend to evolve beyond the social hive, beyond human, beyond the eagle's reach.

If I see a man on the street, a stranger – I automatically make certain assumptions that do not even require conscious thought, that are literally a part of the foundational belief system of the entire human race.  For example, I automatically assume that the man is human, going thru a life that is “normal” to him.  I assume he was once a baby, then a boy, then a man – and all of these assumptions lead to the belief that he is a creature living inside of time – he was born, he grew up, he will grow old, & he will one day die.  Without knowing anything at all about this stranger, I know his entire history, his entire future.  And just as I believe these things about this man, so does everyone else who sees him. Indeed, the man believes these things about himself, and even accepts the beliefs as irrefutably valid, so no attempt can be made to even try to refute what is seen, known & accepted as irrefutable.  This stranger on the street is a victim of all of mankind’s belief system just by virtue of being human & recognized as such by me when I see him passing by me on the street.

Perhaps the only way to be truly free of such belief systems is to be already dead – or at least to be perceived by your fellow man as already dead.  If I see a man on the street who looks like Carlos, but it has already been “irrefutably written” that Carlos is dead, then I automatically assume that the man is not Carlos, but a different man who might look like him.  I “condemn” that man, perhaps, but at the same instant, I free Carlos, allowing him to be “dead”, & therefore automatically consigned to those realms of thought & speculations which exist beyond human consciousness.  IOW, I “trap” the stranger on the street in the web of consensual beliefs, but at the same exact moment, I say to myself, “It’s not Carlos, for he is already dead, and I hope he made it past the eagle.”  In short, because I do not know what happens to a man after death, I cannot trap him into any consensual belief system.  Only after the man is perceived as “already dead” do we stop making automatic assumptions as to his past, present & future.

Throughout his books, don Juan teaches Carlos about the damage done to a man merely by virtue of existing inside the hive of any social structure.  But how can any man be truly free of it.

Point is… if Carlos found himself in a position to program the hive to already believe him “dead”, perhaps he has truly slipped past the eagle – that strange & inexplicable “entity” which seems to exist merely to devour human consciousness at the moment of death. If the eagle believes/accepts/knows that it’s already devoured a man, then it believes/accepts/knows it can’t devour that same man a second time.  But if the eagle has been tricked by a master shaman, is the shaman not then free even of death itself, or at the very least, free of the expectations placed upon all mortal men?

Whatever his ultimate fate, whether he is dead or alive or both simultaneously, I have to congratulate Carlos for making even his supposed “death” an ongoing part of the story, fodder for speculation, mulch for mystery & mysticism.  In the tradition of the true shaman, he has made us wonder about ourselves and the nature of reality, right down to the question of Death itself.

"Reality is a progressive belief."

______________

Copyright 2014, by Della Van Hise
All Rights Reserved

NAGUALS AND DOUBLE BEINGS - Why Do They Exist?

The following ramble is a compilation of several posts made to my old group, The Sorcerer's World, and explored to some extent on my website, www.quantumshaman.com .  I realize some of it is complex and repetitive, but rather than try to distill it down to 50 words or less, it seems reasonable to present it more or less as it was written – in fits and starts of passion, and long nights in the womb of silent knowing. (DVH)

_______________

Though it has been said by don Juan that no one really knows why Naguals are born with 4 compartments of energy rather than the traditional two, I think I might have a vague inkling of why this is so.  As a warrior creates her double and projects that energetic self into the infinite, it is given the agenda (at least in the case of my own double – who calls himself "Orlando") of teaching us how to live, but even more so, it teaches us how to EVOLVE,  how to reconjoin with the double so that the warrior may inhabit the totality of OneSelf.  Literally One. Self.

My double has always said that the only way he can leave me is if I were to turn my back on the path and fragment myself back into phantomhood.  Should that happen, the result would be that when I face the eagle, the "Della-self" would not survive, and would fragment back into the component parts of energy of which all things are made.  I would return to the "all", but not in any cohesive manner.  BUT... as I have come to understand it, the energy body which is the cohesive double would continue...  (because it is already Whole within the indestructible hologram). IOW, what would be lost would be my mortal self with all her life-experiences, not necessarily the part of me that is already whole outside of time.  But the whole purpose of this two-part migration of the soul is to bring the mortal self and the double into cohesion, so as to inhabit a single assemblage point into the infinite.  The double has been given the agenda to teach/create/make the warrior an integrated Whole being through an ongoing series of lessons, information, Knowledge & experience.  There is no limit to this, and that agenda is an eternal one, perhaps expressed in the words:  “I give you the will & the wisdom to be whatever you need to be in order to teach me how to be Whole.”   (For "whole" you could substitute the words "evolved," "cohesive," "eternal," or even "im-mortal" (i.e., not-mortal).

Now here's where it gets into an area Orlando calls "the ghost train”. If we look at our mortal lives like a train trip, and we get to the end of the line (the eagle, death, transformation), our Intent is to step off the train, embrace the energetic double, and conjoin into our Totality (literally the combined assemblage points of every experience the self and double have ever experienced – both in and outside of "time").  BUT... if for some reason the mortal self fails in its bid for cohesion, my theory is that the double actually goes "back in time" (as it were) to within the time-frame of the mortal lifespan... and begins the whole procedure again.  Orlando says he and I have ridden the ghost train a few times (not a pleasant idea), but not surprising, considering everything I now know.  It's like that scene in THE MATRIX where Neo first jumps off the building.  One of the others remarks, "Everybody falls the first time."  I think that's true here, too, which may account for why the idea of "past lives" is so popular.  Some of those "past lives" may well be our individual journeys on the ghost train.  It is the double’s journey toward Totality, toward fulfilling the agenda with which the mortal created it through free will.

What it boils down to is that the universe is holographic in nature.  So once something is created as "real", it can never be destroyed.  If your double is real NOW, even if you develop Alzheimer's, go insane, or simply fail to get past the eagle, the double is nonetheless real within the hologram... and because its agenda is its own evolution and conjoining with its mortal self, it will continue to slip back into that small segment of eternity known as the mortal lifespan  in an attempt to teach the mortal self how to SUCCEED in getting past the eagle "next time". This may also account for some instances of deja vu.  We think we've done this before because we HAVE done this before.

With that bit of background, I have begun to seriously wonder if so-called "Naguals" or double beings are born that way because they are the ones who HAVE ridden that ghost train at least once or twice, and so they essentially come into THIS life with the energetic double more or less already fully formed – lying dormant until such time as there is an opening, or window of opportunity for the teachings to begin again – or more precisely, until such time as the mortal’s free will awakens and issues the command.  In my case, that command is remembered as an 11-year-old girl shaking her fist at the sky and proclaiming, “If I can’t come to you, I’ll bring you to me."

Point is, because the double is an eternal part of the hologram once created, even when/if the mortal self fails in her bid for evolution past the eagle, that which is eternal within the hologram (the double) has the ability to essentially step back inside the finite span of that mortal lifespan – because the double is not constrained or limited to a linear-experience of time, and exists ubiquitously throughout the space-time continuum.  So, it begins to appear  that those who have created their double, but for whatever reason perhaps do not fulfill their evolution “the first time around”, may be those who are born double-beings, or naguals.  What is happening in actuality is that the agenda given to the double kicks in if the mortal self fails in her bid for evolution, and by virtue of re-entering the mortal timeframe (rather like stepping into a re-run on television), the being who is born Now is born with the double already “attached” – four energy compartments instead of only two.

***

Any warrior can create their double - though ultimately it isn't as much a matter of "choice" as it is a matter of Intent.  And there is definitely a difference.  I might choose to go light a candle as part of a ritual, for example, but that isn't what will create the double.  It is the ache/hurt/want/need in the pit of the stomach that provides the Intent that would make me feel a need to perform some meaningless ritual in the first place.  The ritual has no real power and is a choice; but the intent behind the ritual has ultimate power in creation, and the ritual is only a tool for focus.  Over a period of time (no one can say how long), the double is brought into being by the intent of the warrior - not the intent to create the double, but the intent to seek knowledge, the intent to create, the intent to find the answer to that gnawing ache/hurt/want/need in the pit of the stomach.  In short, the double is created through dreaming in the sense that the energy of that ache/hurt/want/need goes into manifesting the "cure" - and that cure is the double, which may be described as the vessel of the singularity of consciousness which emerges when all is said and done and the warrior leaves this earth.

Double beings are another matter - and yet, at the very heart and soul and source of WHY they are double beings, it may be exactly  the same thing, but something that is being seen from another point on the time-map.  I have a theory that Naguals such as myself are the fuck-ups of the sorcerer's equation.  The theory is perhaps slightly complicated, but I need to work through it on cyberpaper, so bear with me, or go smoke a joint and come back later.
If I start from point A, and take the premise - I am an ordinary warrior who has now managed to create my double.  The double is now the indestructible vessel of energy which will become the assemblage point of my Totality beyond this physical life.  Because it appears that the universe is holographic in nature, what this means is that both the double and the immortal self are part of that hologram.  And as most already know, the nature of a hologram is that as long as one has even a tiny piece, one possesses the whole.  In other words, the whole of the hologram exists within each component of itself, so even if it is fragmented, as long as one piece can be recovered, the hologram can be reconstructed in its entirety.

Okay... so I've created my double and I'm bopping along through life, and get hit on the head by a meteor one day, and kaputz, I'm a goner.  The eagle grabs my Della-awareness, and I am absorbed back into the black velvet fabric of the Nothing - obliterated.  But let's further say that because I was an impeccable warrior (except for failing to note the meteor coming), I had given my double the agenda:  "Go out into the All and bring back whatever knowledge is required to teach me everything I need to know in order to become a singularity.  Dream me as I have Dreamed you - no matter what.  And do not stop until the singularity is manifested."

In giving the double such an agenda, one is acting in the realm of sorcery to defeat the eagle, at least at a certain level.  Because of the holographic nature of the universe, once the double is created as an independent component with free will, it cannot be destroyed even if the awareness of the mortal self is eaten by the eagle.  Now - an aside - this would require an extremely cohesive double, so this would probably only happen if a warrior were extremely advanced on the path when s/he was hit by that meteor - but for whatever reason, the component that is the mortal self "failed" in her bid to get past the eagle in order to conjoin with the double.  So, let's assume, just for the sake of argument, that the eagle stands "between" self and double.  May or may not be true, but works for the sake of this explanation.

So - here's the game plan so far.  Warrior created her double, gave that double the agenda to teach her "no matter what it takes" (a matter of intent); and then gets splattered by a meteor and eaten by the eagle.  It's a shitty day, to be sure. 

Okay - so the awareness of the mortal self is swallowed up by the eagle, but because the double was created already BEYOND the eagle, that energy still exists as part of the hologram.  But, it  recognizes that even it is not "complete" because the component which was the mortal self (its own source) was just eaten by the eagle.  So the double is having a bad day, too.  What to do?  Without the awareness of the mortal self, the double knows it is not "whole" - not a singularity, but only a component, no matter how powerful.  And as such, it knows it is vulnerable to the ravages of infinity.  Without both halves, the dis-integration is not only inevitable, but has already begun.

Since the double is not limited to the confines of the linear human lifetime, and moves freely outside the box of time itself, the double can just as easily step back inside the framework of the mortal self.  I've used the analogy in the past that the double could very easily "climb inside" the mortal self while that mortal self was still in the womb of her mother - and, indeed, this would make a lot of sense, because only then would the double-being exist in the first place.  Why do this?  Because the double is fighting for his/her own survival, too.  And the only way to be sure it will survive would be to exist in such a position as to be able to exert influence over its mortal source from before the moment of birth.   So, the double wriggles down comfortably inside his mortal self who is still in the womb, and when the infant is born, it would appear to a seer as having 4 compartments of energy instead of only two.

But - the problem is that the seer is still a being of linear time, and may think - "Oh, my, what a special child!"  Er - not really.  Sure, the nagual has extra energy and all of that seemingly fun stuff, but we're the fuck-ups who got hit on the head with the meteor in the moebius loop of the time/space continuum, and so the double has had to take control and "re-dream" its way into mortal existence so the whole process can be redone, this time with the double having more influence from the start.

"To the eye of the seer, a Nagual man or Nagual woman appears as a luminous egg with four compartments.  Unlike the average human being, who has two sides only, a left and a right, the Nagual has a left side divided into two long sections, and a right side equally divided in two."  (Carlos Castsaneda)

The reason it is seen in this manner is because the seer is seeing only the object, and not the outside-of-time retroactive enchantment[1] which created that object as it exists.  And so - ultimately - Naguals may be just another warrior who created their double, got hit on the head with a meteor, and had a double who was smart enough to operate outside of time so as to salvage his own pathway to the Infinite by climbing back into his "source" so as to better guide the play the second time around.

The upside to all of this is that it does tend to give a Nagual that extra reserve of energy, and it certainly provides one with a sense of urgency and focus and sheer determination to make it to freedom that is unparalleled.  I am going to make it, no matter what - because if I don't, not only do I "lose" Orlando, but I will have to go through Gretta Young's fourth grade class again.  That alone is a powerful medicine of motivation.

Okay - with everything I've just said, it's important to note that NONE of this frees the Nagual from the responsibility of "creating the double through dreaming" in the first place, in the Now.   Because even though the double may come into this life with the mortal infant, with the ability to exert powerful influence over that child from even before the moment of birth, it is still the mortal self who must exert free will and force the double to go through the motions of actually occurring.[2]

I've known a couple of naguals who felt they were somehow "special" just by virtue of being born a double being, and even felt that they didn't have to create their double because s/he already existed.  One even referred to it as "a waste of energy to create what already exists."

That, again, is a case of a seer seeing only the finished product and failing to take into account that something had to happen to create that reality in the first place.  IOW, the conclusions are erroneous, just as it would be an erroneous conclusion to stand in front of a city dump and proclaim, "Flies caused all this garbage!"

So - lest anyone should think Naguals have it easier or are in any way special - please allow me to disabuse you of that notion. :)  I haven't found it to be any different for myself than for any of the other warriors I've known and worked with over the years.  We still have to create our double and go through the hard work of the path, so that the double will exist in the first place.

Nothing is a given.  Not one thing.  No one is going to do it for me - not even my double, Orlando. At best, he is a safety net of sorts - but only because that is what I created him to be.

And so it goes...
____________


Copyright 2014, by Della Van Hise
All Rights Reserved

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1 Retroactive Enchantment – a term used by Peter J. Carroll and defined as an action in the Now which may be seen to also significantly alter the past.

[2] Quantum theory: All things exist within the realm of possibility, but only some things will be forced to go through the motions of actually occurring.

Meeting the Brujo

Sometime in the past, circa 2003...

It began as a meditation. I often sit on the bed at night and gaze out through the open door. Since we live on a 5 acre parcel in the desert, I have a magnificent view of distant mountains covered by snow, and a closer vista of Joshua trees, pinon pines and yucca plants. The desert is not the barren wasteland so many envision. Instead, it is full of life in all its many manifestations.

So I sat on the bed and leaned back, enjoying the last vestiges of light splashed along the horizon. It had rained in the morning, and the scent of wet chaparral brush lay heavy in the air. A cold breeze was blowing in. The sky was a pale shade of winter night.

I drifted. And then I slept. Just sitting there at the edge of the desert, on the edge of the nagual. Last thing I recalled, I had glanced at the clock to see that it was about 5:45. Quite some time later, I awakened to the sound of footsteps, and a man's voice. Very clearly, he said, "It's time to get up."

Opening my eyes, I discovered a naked man standing just inside my door, less than 5 feet from me. Silhouetted against the open door, there was no mistake, and yet I was completely without fear. It isn't that I am fearless. It was simply that there was nothing to fear, and in that state between sleep and waking, I Knew this on a level of awareness that transcends all logic.

I gazed at this man for approximately 5 seconds - quite a long time if one is holding one's hand in flame or looking at a naked man standing next to one's bed. As I gazed at him, he began to morph much like a special effect in a movie, and as I watched with utter fascination, he turned into a large golden dog who has been frequenting our land for several weeks - a stray whom we've fed from time to time, but who has always shied away from physical contact.

In the sorcerer's world, nothing is as it seems. All things are only transient manifestations of energy. After the man had become the dog, I got up and went out into the yard, where he was sitting on an old grass mat, gazing at me with one upright ear and one bent ear, and a funny smile that was far more human than not. Laughing at me, I suspect. So I laughed, too.

What does it mean? Who's to say? It is known in the shaman's world that brujos can take on the shape of animals if that is their Will, so I cannot possibly know if the dog is really a sorcerer in his own right, or if a sorcerer chose to manifest as the dog. All I know is that a brujo with a sense of humor wandered naked into my house while I lay sleeping, and told me it was time to get up.

Is this some allegorical tale? Nope. Every word of it is true. Such is life in the sorcerer's world. Trying to wrap human comprehension around it is like trying to contain the nagual in a teacup. The experience is the journey, and the journey is the cumulative experiences that go to form a foundation of Knowledge. I was honored by a visit from a brujo, and after we played together for awhile in the open desert, he simply disappeared into the night, a shadow running along the road.

The crack between the worlds stands open. Sometimes, if we are blessed, something from the other side slips through to remind us of our own limitless power, and the unbounded wonder that is Life.
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Excerpt from...
Quantum Shaman: Diary of a Nagual Woman (by Della Van Hise)