Magic is a Burden to Others

Sometimes we choose the magical world.
Other times it chooses us.

Most people don't really want magic in their lives.

What else can we call it? Supernatural phenomenon. Hauntings. Prophetic dreams. Visionary experiences. Intuitive knowing. Or simply: any inexplicable encounters with the unknown.

Whatever we call it, let's face it: magic is inconvenient to most folks, disrupts their daily routine, takes away from the enjoyment of a "happy" day (whatever that might be), and generally disturbs and confounds their belief systems upon which has been built the immovable foundation for A Normal Life. Anything that does not align with the traditional status quo is therefore a pain in the ass, a thorn in the side, a discrepancy in the matrix, and something to be avoided at all costs.

As a child, I had many magical experiences - I've written about some of them on my website. Not sure why the world of mysticism & magic seemed to single me out, except perhaps because I slipped through the cracks of traditional upbringing - or, put another way, I was spared the dubious benefits of a lot of the programming which most children endure just by virtue of being alive. Living in an isolated rural environment, with a mother who was at work from 6 a.m. until 6 p.m., and a father who was less than attentive, I more or less ran wild in the neighborhood in a time before fences or pit bulls. The swamp, the lake, and the orange groves were my milieu, and as an only child, my so-called 'invisible friends' were my only friends.

It was idyllic.

Thing is... in hindsight, I can also clearly see that the lack of traditional programming allowed my mind/spirit to develop in what I would consider to be a more natural fashion than most kids growing up today. With no television in the house, no telephone, no video games, no VCR, no DVD or computer, and very little adult supervision, I was essentially forced into a bond with the natural world and, ultimately, the 'supernatural' world.

So the tales I tell here may sound like fanciful imaginings of an isolated little girl, remembered by an elder witch through the eyes of poetic license. If that's what makes you sleep better, then you are free to inject that belief into your own programming in the same way a doctor might inject morphine into the IV line of a patient experiencing a great deal of pain.The morphine doesn't really make the pain go away, of course. It only masks the symptoms, but for the most part, that's what patients are looking for. And it's what "most folks" are looking for in their day to day lives.

I'm reminded of Arnold Mindell's comments in his excellent book, THE SHAMAN'S BODY:

Is it your fault if you remind others of dreams they do not want? And who can blame the group, either for resistance to you or for the life-and-death struggle that ensues? These people are fighting for their lives, equilibrium, homeostasis - indeed, for the perpetuation of history. "Do not disturb us more than we can take," they say.  

From a global viewpoint, you disturb your organizational system, and history must fight for continuity. In this universal and fated interaction, the warrior's friends become the voices of the web. Their warmth turns to ice. They accuse you of unjustifiable behavior, egotism, and criminality as they become possessed by their lawmaker role in this eternal drama of human history.

The collective you live in must pursue you for what it experiences as criminal acts and bring you to trial, just as you have challenged other rule breakers in the past. Now it is you who enters into a life-and-death struggle with the universe..."

For those who have been engaging in the world of 'shamanic sorcery' for any length of time, it is almost a certainty that you, too, have been labeled as a pain in the collective ass of society, or even your own family & friends. If you have been on the path as long as I have, it is even a strong possibility that you are a lone practitioner now - for the ugly truth is that this path does not really make us many friends. Oh, we might connect from time to time with other warriors on a parallel path, but when we commit to this journey with the totality of mind/body/spirit, we quickly discover that in order to be true to ourselves, we can no longer uphold the expectations of others in the manner to which they have become accustomed.

What does that mean? "Surely you jest, Della!" someone is sure to say. "I have dozens of friends and a loving and supportive family, and I am still a warrior!"

Maybe.

My mantra is simple: IT. HAS. TO. BE. REAL. And it is when we begin to be absolutely true to the Self that we find ourselves out of step with the status quo.

What is the status quo? Greatly simplified, it is the consensual reality, in which there are rules and agreements we are all expected to live by. Which brings us to expectations, of course. What is expected of us by our friends? Our family? Other warriors? And if we find ourselves leaning toward wanting or needing to somehow satisfy those expectations, are we then attempting to mold ourselves into the consensual programs as a means to seek acceptance and that sense of well-being we are "supposta" experience when surrounded by family and friends?

Personally, I have come to see the expectations of others rather like individual bars on a cage. How are you doing? Fine, thank you (the expected response, when in reality you have a painful hemorrhoid and your dog won't stop pooping on the rug). And how is your lovely wife today? She's doing well, thanks for asking (even though she's on anti-depressants as a result of catching you in bed with the pool boy twice last week). Would you like fries with that? No, I'd prefer a dinner salad, thank you. (But you're lying and you know it. You want the fries. Fries good. Salad bad. But you say the right thing because you're having lunch with your skinny friends who have been duly assimilated by the tao of lettuce.)

But I digress... Your painful hemorrhoid and your crapping dog and your inability to keep your pecker in your pants are still foibles which polite society will agree to overlook in order to maintain their illusion of normalcy. After all, the priest may tell you - we are only human with human shortcomings. Say a few Hail Marys, kick the dog out the back door, get some Preparation H, slap your errant prick into submission; and all will be right with the world. And who knows... in the world of matter & men, in the world of polite society, perhaps the preacher is right to the extent of his understanding of the agreement. You may be an asshole, but you're a normal asshole - a card-carrying member of The Human Agreement.

Ah, but what if you were to be sitting there at lunch with all those malnourished, well-to-do, normal friends of yours, and you just happen to casually mention during the appetizers that you were abducted by aliens last night. Everyone laughs it off, of course, because you are obviously joking around as you are wont to do, you little minx, but by the time that nasty-tasting dinner salad arrives, you've made a reference to a prophetic dream you had last week, and now the laughter is getting somewhat more nervous and your best friend's wife has dropped her fork with a loud clattering sound more than once.

When the main course is served, you turn the conversation toward the fact that your house seems to be haunted by the spirit of the former occupant, who appears in the mirror over your sink every other Thursday and whispers, "Cats really do go to heaven," in a melodic but androgynous voice. Now you're keeping in mind that these are your closest friends - maybe even people you grew up with, went to high school or college with, friends with whom you have discussed all manner of philosophy at one time or another. Is there life on other planets? Is religion a comfort or a crutch? Did don Juan really exist, or was Castaneda just stoned on mushrooms and made the whole thing up? Was Nietzsche onto something with nihilism or is nihilism just much ado about nothing?

To you, these things are just a part of your inventory now, maybe even the fuel that drives your imagination. So by the time dessert arrives, you're talking openly about the projection of the shaman's double as a quantum vessel of energetic awareness, replete with free will and the ability to transcend the space/time continuum.

But what you have perhaps failed to notice is that your friends left Neverland long, long ago. They went away and grew up and got married and had lots of babies, so by this time, their amusement has turned to outright discomfort, and the males at the table have turned to talk of Nascar and beer, while the females have retreated to The Ladies Powder Room to do whatever it is females do in the restroom that seems to require at least 30 minutes and the assistance of their 12 closest friends.

You are alone.

In the middle of friends, surrounded by those closest to you...

You are alone.

Magic is a burden to others. At some point, this becomes obvious. If you are extremely fortunate, you find yourself merely alone and not hanging from some makeshift cross or secured to a handsome pile of very dry kindling while the stuffy magistrate recites the charges against you.

This is where the journey takes a sharp and dangerous turn, and you have some decisions to make that are going to be painful.

Do you really want to be a sorcerer at all if this is where it leads?

But... far worse... do you have a choice anymore, or have you already wandered past the point of know return?

Journal entry - July 31, 2008
_____________

Copyright 2015 by Della Van Hise
All Rights Reserved

Similar rants & observations may be found in...

The Super-Position of the Assemblage Point

A Teaching From the Double

The super position of the assemblage point is nothing. And it is everything. It is nowhere. Yet it is everywhere. It does not exist within linear time. Yet it is the entirety of time as well as the absence of time. 

If you were to visualize the All as a marble which might be held in the palm of your hand, that would give you an idea of the super position of the assemblage point. The marble contains everything - all of space and time, all of the past and the future, all things that have happened, and (most importantly) all of the infinite possibilities which have NOT been forced to go through the motions of actually occurring. From the super position of the assemblage point - which might be described as non-local and ubiquitous - the entirety of the All is accessible as possibility, and yet only the do-ing (localizing) will result in experience. 

To those who would say that the double is therefore ominiscient, I would point out that this is really not the case. Though the All may be experienced as possibility, it is only through the actual do-ing (localizing) that 'history' is created in the form of experiential memory. 

It is from the super position of the assemblage point that the double functions. When I have said that I am the fire in the canyon or the intangible sparkle of light captured in a raindrop, those statements are not intended as metaphor or poetry, but as an actuality of experience. From the super position of the assemblage point, all things exist as potential for energy. It could not even be said that what is as yet unmanifested is "energy". It is, instead, the potential for energy, which is then made to manifest by intent and an application of Will. 

It is through the intent of the mortal self that the will of the double may be invoked. 

When you ask how this may impact a warrior in the now, consider that it is the mortal self who dreams the double. As I have said countless times: "You are the creator of reality. I am only its servant." Or as don Juan once said to Carlos, "I am at your service." 

It is when the mortal self summons intent (an active force of energetic creation) that it could be said, "The self is dreaming the double." To follow that thinking further, it is when the double localizes his energy and manifests experience through the application of Will, that it may be said, "The double is now dreaming you." 

The mortal self operates from a fixed position of the assemblage point (fixed, meaning from within a humanform lifetime), whereas the double is summoned from the super position of the assemblage point - which may manifest or localize anywhere within (or outside of) the space/time continuum. I have lived a thousand lifetimes and died a thousand deaths, and yet I am Whole and eternal because there is the awareness of free Will - and my Will is to remain I-Am regardless of where or when that I-Am manifests in the tonal. 

What most humans fail to recognize is that they themselves are the source. You are the creators of reality. Even if the double is Dreaming you, it is because you (and only you) have chosen through actions to Dream the double. If t here is an oversoul or a super position of the assemblage point, it is not because angels placed it there like stars in the heavens, but because you yourself placed it there through intent and the energetic force of self-awareness. 

If you were to ask the rhetorical question: "Which came first, the self or the double?" the answer is simple to one who sees. The self is the source, though many would tell you otherwise, because it is easier to believe in some already-immortal overmind than it is to take upon yourself the heavy responsibility for creating that force as a singularity of consciousness. 

Put another way: the gods exist, but only if the one true god creates them. There is only one true god, and that is the one for which humans have been searching for centuries, but always manage to overlook when gazing at the reflection over the bathroom sink. And for as long as one searches externally for what is internal, one will find ways to convince oneself that one is an impotent sloth, when in reality, each one of you contains the full and complete power of all of the universe in a single thought. 

Having awareness of this enables the warrior in the now to more effectively direct the power of her own intent, which in turn Dreams a more cohesive double. 

Intent is the architect. Will is the power to manifest the architect's Dreaming. 

Orlando - December 22, 2007
_____________
Copyright 2015, by Della Van Hise
All Rights Reserved

Read more from Quantum Shaman!

"The Destruction of Faith is the Beginning of Evolution"

"The Destruction of Faith is the Beginning of Evolution."

My mentor said those words to me more than 20 years ago, and I have found them to be one of the most valuable lessons I've ever learned. What I've also discovered is that the word "faith" can just as easily be replaced with the word "belief" or "programs" - and for anyone serious about nagualism, it's really where the journey has to start.

What is seemingly not understood by many is that most if not all "beliefs" stem directly from fear - and fear is the first enemy of a wo/man of Knowledge, the first enemy of any true seeker. There is an ongoing disagreement in the Carlos Castaneda group on Facebook regarding the idea of "god" or a "creator" - right down to the point where some want to argue that they aren't the same thing. To which I would reply - Semantics don't alter the bottom line. Any intrinsic belief in a god or creator implies that there is something "out there" greater and more powerful than oneself. And if you believe that, you are disempowering yourself at the core level - not out of any "respect" for this entity, but out of fear that you yourself are not capable of facilitating your own evolution. If you believe there is a "god" watching over you, then you have automatically placed yourself into some sort of pre-existing hierarchy that would make you "lesser than" your god/creator.

It may also be considered that the foreign installation has programmed humans to find false beliefs not only comforting, but downright addictive. Believing in a "savior" for example is highly appealing to many - because it abdicates all responsibility for the self, and one need only ask "forgiveness" for all manner of "sin" in order to be granted admittance to some paradise over the rainbow of reason. Believing in "karma" allows the true believer to think that "He'll get his!" when the reality is that good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people, and the only "justice" in the universe is what we believe (and our beliefs usually have very little basis in reality). These are just 2 brief examples, but the list is long - and it's why I encourage all seekers to question everything, all the time, including and especially their own beliefs. Don't just ask yourself what you believe, but take the time to seriously examine why you believe it. Is it something you know to be true through direct personal experience, or is it something you believe because you've believed it for so long that you probably don't even remember why you believe it?

Some may think it arrogant to suggest that you are the most powerful being in the universe - but unless and until you accept that responsibility, you will automatically be governed by fear and robbed of clarity because belief systems such as this blind the seeker to his own limitless Will. What created you was the Will of the fastest sperm and the will of the strongest egg. The spark of consciousness that looks out through your eyes is the result of that spontaneous parthenogenesis, and the instinct to SURVIVE (to slip past the eagle to be free) is the creative extension of that will in action.

It isn't my intent here to rob anyone of their religion. If you are a religious person, you probably don't belong in this group in the first place - because nagualism (or quantum shamanism) is not a religion, it is a practice, a way of life, and a manner of traveling. It is not a belief system, but a methodology through which seekers can unravel their own false belief systems  and programs and lose their "faith" AND their fear (no matter how comforting or intrinsic those beliefs may be!) - so that they may emerge on the other side of it all having lost all spiritual, emotional and mental dependencies. In fact, this is at the very heart of "losing the human form."

"What's in the cave?"
Only what you bring with you.

My mentor pushed me to the edge of the abyss, and then he shoved me in head first. What I found in there and out there and everywhere in between... was only my Self. In my opinion, it is only from that "clean slate" that seekers can begin to embrace the infinite and create the eternal.

I realize this is not what many people want to hear. It wasn't what I wanted to hear when my mentor revealed it to me. But if I were here for a popularity contest, I'd be just one more bliss ninny telling you you're watched over by guardian angels and all of us are going to some version of heaven when we die. Unfortunately, those kinds of belief systems belong in a book of fairy tales and not in the realm of nagualism or quantum shamanism. What we believe (or want to believe) is usually what blinds us to what we might otherwise come to Know through experience and assimilated awareness.

I'm not asking you to defend your belief. I'm asking you to examine it even if it hurts.
_______________
Copyright 2015 by Della Van Hise
www.quantumshaman.com

Stalking Core Beliefs

(A teaching from the double)

The machine's fundamental function is to protect itself by keeping its subjects mindlessly serving it even though the mechanism itself has long since forgotten its primary programming.

Man is a chrysalis you see, containing all the secrets to growing immortal wings capable of taking him beyond death, an evolution dependent entirely on him and having nothing to do with eons of mutations or nebulous resurrections requiring prayer and prostration before the very mechanism bent on killing him. But because metamorphosis is a full time occupation, to pursue it impeccably means rejecting the machine and that's a terrifying thing, because the very nature of it is to program you to think "It matters." So way back when in nether-yesteryears, a few frightened humans began programming the thing to program them to thrive on distraction and drama, and as a reward it even reprogrammed Man to love the illusions, just the eagle manifesting inside the machine itself, his favorite playground, yes? So now the sorcerer's trick is two-fold: first to recognize that the programs exist, and secondly to dismantle them from within.

Ah, but remember this: those who don't march obsequiously to their death are tagged as crazy and "innocently" willed to death by well-meaning fiends who reprogram your reality under the guise of caring:

"There must be something wrong with her, some malady, some madness, some pestilence that's eaten her reason and left her worshiping the quantum singularity, who's plainly a manifestation of a midlife crisis posing as a quest for evolution and immortality. Poppycock and peanuts! Yes, nuts, she is! But why? It's a brain tumor, I'm sure, malignant and festering, psychosis and neurosis brought on by the company she keeps and the schemes she weaves to avoid an honest day's work. It's phobic, it's schizo, 'the twin' just a metaphor for the cancer within, 'seventh sense' a delusional symptom of some rare blood disease that's sure to kill her soon. Oh, how we love her, how we miss her. If only she'd listen and come home with us, home to Ixtlan."

Ah, the voice of reason, killing you in effigy. Do you have the strength to stand against the diseases the machine will heap upon you in its attempt to destroy that which it cannot control? I urge you to look beyond the programs to see their more sinister meaning. The core of your belief determines the realities you see and obliterates those you choose to ignore.

How do your automatic belief systems manifest your reality, and how can you get beyond them for the time it will take to pull their plug? Ah, but the darker question is this: do you even want to? Or are you comfortable and secure within the illusions?

Here is where the work of stalking yourself begins.
____________

Excerpted from Quantum Shaman: Diary of a Nagual Woman

Flight to Freedom

(A message from the double)

This is a path most often walked alone in the dark, with only the silence for company - that is the way of the warrior, and though it is lonesome at times it is nonetheless what the warrior who is seeking freedom does, because that is his nature.

Perhaps the warrior becomes a sorcerer and seer, and then the path might appear to broaden to include others with similar interests, fellow travelers with whom the warrior/sorcerer may share fine red wine and a campfire in the desert where tales of power are told in the night that never ends. And for a time, this is what the warrior/sorcerer does, because this has become his new nature.

For those who become women and men of Knowledge, it may appear that one is surrounded by friends and allies, apprentices and mentors - the fullness of life. It may appear that the campfires of exploration have burned to the softer embers of lasting wisdom, and that those around you will share the path at your side until the eagle descends to challenge you one by one. And for a time, this is how a man of knowledge experiences his life, for now this has become his new nature, seeking inward what was once sought outward, assimilating experience into Knowledge and knowledge into manifestation.

And yet, in all the roads I have walked and all the warriors and sorcerers and men of Knowledge I have known, only one thing is constant.

There will come a day when those closest to you will turn their backs, when your apprentices may draw a blade and your mentors may shun you and your allies may abandon you and you may find yourself at the edge of the abyss with an army eager to push you over the edge, and if you look closely, you will see that it is because you will not be what they want you to be (for to do so would invalidate who you are) you cannot walk to their drummer's beat (for to do so would drown out your own), or in some manner you are said to have turned your back on the eclectic collective which embraced you for a time, and so you are perceived as a heretic and an ingrate and a fraud and a cheat. "Come back to us or else!" they may cry. "We love you and that is reason enough!" And yet to the seer who *sees*, that 'love' will be seen as an attachment of need, and the finest gift you can give to them and to yourself is to cut that umbilical and take a cleansing breath which is the birth of the emerging self.

If you listen with spirit, if you look with your third eye, what you will *see* is that this is the finest and best moment of your life, for this is the moment when you will simply Know that you have found your freedom. You will realize as if for the first time that the truth of your path is of far greater value than the approval or even the love of your mortal friends and family, and that it is only by remaining true to yourSelf in the darkest night that you enable yourself to emerge into the light of the singularity of your totality. It is only then that you may gaze into the infinite and finally *see* that your cohesion is comprised of your own experience and not based in any manner on what any other living being may want or need or hope for you to be.

This is the day when you will answer the first question. This is the moment you will know who you are. When the world is at its coldest and the fires have burnt to ash and all the mirrors have been shattered by your own hand, this is the moment when you will embrace your freedom. And this is the time when you will bow graciously to the world of matter and men, and rather than allowing them to push you into the abyss, you will fall willingly and with perfect trust into the totality of yourSelf, and fly.
____________
Copyright 2015
All rights reserved.

Act Like A Lady!

"Act like a lady!" "Act like a warrior!" "Act like a nagual!" 

Acting... 

When I was a little girl and my mother told me to "act like a lady" in church, I wondered if that meant I would have to douse myself in cheap perfume, put on a flowered dress that stank of stale beer, wear blue eye shadow so thick it would cake & crack, and give blow jobs to bald deacons in the dressing room of the choir loft - because that was my perception of how "ladies" acted in the church where I grew up, and so I could not imagine why my mother would wish a similar fate on me, since I had never perceived her to behave in such a manner, nor to admire such behavior in others. 

When I asked her one day why she wanted me to "act like a lady in church," she bean explaining the attributes of a lady. A lady walks with good posture and always smiles when meeting eyes with someone. A lady wears her best dress on Sunday, and never speaks to a gentleman unless he speaks first. A lady does not run through the cemetery with her friends after Sunday School, nor does a lady talk above the volume of a soft murmur. And above all else, a lady never asks questions - for to do so implies a masculine curiosity that is not becoming to a lady. 

I was very young at the time these rules were laid down to me, and suffice it to say I found them bizarre and constrictive at best, and I was never much of a lady, nor did I ever want to be. Secretly, I suspect my mother was proud of the fact that I was a tomboy with a penchant for bringing home stray cats, and for driving the preacher and all those fine "church ladies" crazy with all my questions that couldn't be answered. 

But there were those words, which she repeated nonetheless. "Act like a lady." Act. 

As I grew older, I understood what was intended by the words, but it didn't make the sentiment itself any less insane in my book. While my art teacher was fond of saying, "Think for yourself and paint what is in your heart's eye," my home economics teacher would spew forth such platitudes as, "Learn all you can in my class, girls, so that you will be able to attract a good man, and cook a decent meal for your husband and children." And, of course, this was often accompanied by the suggestion: "And don't forget to act like ladies around the boys!" 

Maybe I was born with an assemblage point that was never quite plugged into this world, but I often found myself wondering even as far back as early childhood why such an emphasis was placed on attempting to convince others that we were somehow different than we actually are. On the one hand, well-meaning teachers & parents would say, "Just be yourself." On the other hand, there was that warcry: "Act like a lady! Act like a winner! Act like a Christian! Act like an American!" 

As I grew older and eventually embarked on this path, I began to realize just how disassociated most people really are from their own authenticity - largely as a direct result of the fact that most of them seem to spend their lives "acting" and pretending. But even more curious to me is the fact that there seems to come a point when the actors forget they are acting, and start to believe it is somehow real... and worse STILL, is when their own expectations begin to manifest in the very same words they may have shunned as children, and they start telling others to "Act like a lady!" Chances are, they don't even hear themselves, or if they do, they have simply bought into the program that was put onto them by their parents, and their parents before them. Ignorance is also a lineage, when one really examines it. 

Okay, I can write a lot of that off to the inexplicable behavior of phantoms, and think nothing of it. Those who choose to walk through life without ever recognizing the base programs or the presence of the social matrix really aren't responsible for their belief systems, even though they COULD be... but that's another story for another day. Point is - when I am dealing with phantoms, it is a given that they will behave as phantoms and hold the values of phantoms. 

But when I am dealing with people who profess to be warriors, and I hear that type of program coming out of their mouth, I am amazed that they do not hear their own rhetoric. Recently, during an otherwise neutral conversation with a man I've known for years, he began saying to me, "Act like a nagual, Della! If you don't act like a nagual, then you're not one!" 

Well... what does a nagual act like? I wondered. Not that I had any intention of taking acting lessons from Carlos or Genaro or even don Juan himself, but it caused me to stop and ask myself - Upon what is this man basing his demands that I should "act like a nagual"? If I were to act like don Juan, I would be a fraud, for I do not have Juan's patience. If I were to act like Genaro, I would be out of character, for it is not my nature to be quite so playful in the manner Genaro exhibited in CC's books. If I were to act like the nagual Julian, perhaps I would be closer to my true authenticity, for of all the naguals described by Carlos, I would have to say that I identify the strongest with Julian... and yet... to act like Julian would be Della-acting-like-Julian, and not Della at all. 

So what does a nagual "act" like? Does s/he walk around all day spouting great wisdom and smacking others on the back in an attempt to shift their assemblage point? Does a nagual sit by a campfire in the desert eating peyote buttons and doling out mushrooms to would-be apprentices? Does a nagual put on some mysterious facade under the guise of "being unknown" such as Carlos seemingly did for a time? 

What does a nagual act like? 

What a lot of people fail to recognize is that a nagual is not automatically a wise man or a sage. A nagual is simply a double being - someone with "extra" energy that may be viewed by a seer as being comprised of four compartments rather than the usual two. There are thousands of naguals on this earth, but I would hazard a guess that less than a thousand of them are even aware of their nature, and far less than that will ever embark on the journey to become wo/men of Knowledge. 

So, first of all, to say one is a nagual is not to say they are enlightened, and even if they are, I have yet to find any set of rules that might define how a nagual (or even a wo/man of Knowledge, for that matter) might be expected to "act." How does a brunette act? How does a man with green eyes act? How does a black man act? How does an Asian woman act? 

Once we break free of our expectations and our self-imposed stereotypes, we will generally find (delightfully so!) that most people have at their core an authenticity which has nothing to do with *what* they are, but with *who* they are - and this is especially true with warriors who have begun the move toward 'losing the human form'. The key to recognizing that authenticity in others is learning to recognize it in ourselves - and that's one of the hardest tasks warriors will face, for it involves the willingness to let go of belief systems and expectations which are directly and deeply related to one's own ego and need to feel "right". 

What needs to be recognized is that so much of what we think we know is really only what we have come to believe - and when we are willing to examine our own expectations and belief systems is when we have a prime opportunity to expand our awareness in multiple directions through a simple act of letting go of some idea about someone else that has absolutely nothing to do with the person whatsoever. Not all naguals are going to live up to your expectations of don Juan, and not all blondes are dumb. Those are nothing more than belief systems, and ONLY when they are released does the warrior engage with the opportunity to really SEE what-is, instead of only BELIEVING in his own pre-existing notions of what something *should* be. If you spend your whole life looking for don Juan, you may miss out on the man or woman of knowledge who is sitting next to you on the bus because they don't live up to what you *think* they *should* be. 

And then, of course, there's the secondary programs running in the background which support the primary program. For example, dontcha just love the logic when someone says, "If you say you are a teacher, then you aren't. If you say you are a nagual, you obviously aren't!" 

Er... if I claim to be blonde, then I must be lying. If I claim to have green eyes, I am obfuscating. And if I put forth that I am a writer, I am certainly a fraud. Of course, if I say I am NOT blonde, then I have BECOME a liar. If I put blue contacts in my eyes to conceal their greenness, then I really AM obfuscating. And if I say I am NOT a writer, it is pointed out to me that I write volumes every day! The ultimate no-win scenario, the kobayashi-maru of the century.

Kinda like the old Monty Python logic of LIFE OF BRIAN. Having been mistaken for Christ, Brian adamantly protests to a large crowd of followers, saying, "I am NOT the messiah!" And, from deep in the crowd, a little voice says, "Only the true messiah denies his divinity!" Can't win. 

So what does any of this have to do with being a warrior? Simply this: whenever you find yourself having negative or doubtful thoughts about someone else, stop and ask yourself, "How much of this is based on what I know of this situation through my own experience, and how much is based on my idea-matrix of what *should* be?" In other words - how much is valid through your own direct experience, and how much is nothing more than some expectation that has taken up residence in your head as a result of some book you read or something someone else told you? 

What my mother saw as a lady was certainly not the same thing I saw as a lady - and what someone else defines as a nagual is all but irrelevant to me. As I said to my friend lately - I'm not here to live up to anyone else's expectations, nor am I interested in attempting to 'prove' something which is, in essence, non-provable. Rather like trying to prove there is a god. Or prove their isn't. The evidence for either argument is all around us, so it is up to each of us to decide how we will engage with the question. Oh, I could "act" like someone else might want me to be, but ultimately that would only prove to them and to myself that I am not authentic... so I ask again... 

What does a nagual act like? 

The answer is simple: a nagual does not act. A nagual simply is. 

And it is in the uniqueness of being that a nagual finds her power. 

There is no act.

Castaneda's "Flyers" as Agent Smith

 

My experience with flyers has been rather unusual, but I've come to think so-called "flyers" may be a lot more intelligent than we believe, and a lot more cunning (and that's if they exist at all). To my knowledge, I've never been attacked directly by a flyer, or if I was the attack was brief and the flyer didn't like the taste of me. I'll take that as a compliment. What I have observed is that flyers have the capacity to act in the role of Agent Smith. (For anyone not familiar with THE MATRIX, Agent Smith is an intelligent extension of "The Program" who has the ability to essentially possess a human host and then attack his target. IOW, Agent Smith can look like anyone.)

In my own life, when I've found myself under heavy attack, it hasn't come from the flyers, but from Agent Smith, almost always having possessed the body of someone close to me. Crazy as this may sound, I'm not entirely kidding. In fact, I'm entirely serious. And the attacks almost always center around my spiritual path, in one way or another.

When I first launched the Quantum Shaman website back in 2000, I found myself suddenly under heavy attack from a relative. This person had always been a bit squirrly where I'm concerned, but when the website went online, one would have thought I had slaughtered their firstborn and eaten his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti. The attacks were so off the wall that I came to the conclusion they must be possessed, for their behaviour had altered so radically that this was (literally) not the same person I had known for over 20 years. Then one day, when it became apparent that the attacks were not going to change my mind, were not going to convince me to take the website down, and were not going to get me to "tow the party line," the attacks stopped. The possession was terminated and the person reverted to their former self.

At that point, certain friends began behaving strangely. An entourage even showed up on my doorstep one day in what is now called an "intervention." (Anyone who knows me would know how that was destined to end.)  These were long-time friends who had suddenly decided among themselves that I needed to smile more. I needed to believe as they believed. I needed to tell the world that I loved daisies and puppies (I do love puppies & daisies, but kittens and roses are my preference.) I needed to be who they wanted me to be, even if it meant denouncing who I-Am. Whether these "friends" ever came to their senses and regained their own identity again, I never knew, because whatever had possessed them was sufficiently powerful that it began recruiting others to its cause, and the whole thing started to look like a zombie apocalypse from The Walking Dead. At the risk of sounding paranoid, a lot of people wanted to eat my brains - not just for the yummy taste, but because I was apparently rocking the consensual boat - first with the website, and later with my first book, Quantum Shaman (Diary of a Nagual Woman). Without every trying, without ever thinking it was possible, I had become a threat to the status quo of the consensual agreement.

Most recently a long-time friend got herself possessed by that rascal, Agent Smith, and came at me out of the blue with all sorts of really bizarre accusations that would have been right at home in a horror movie. Having known this person for so long, I knew it wasn't the person I've known, and of course the primary focus of her attack was what she called "your path". Unfortunately, I'm not Sam Winchester - don't know the proper Latin incantations to exorcise a demon from its human host, and not even sure an exorcism would have much effect on the mind-virus known as Agent Smith. After all, Smith isn't a demon. He isn't even human.  He is a reflection of our collective false beliefs - a hive mind thriving on agreement and the need for unwavering conformity. Agent Smith is the antithesis of spiritual evolution, for he is the cornerstone of stasis and the enforcer of the comfort zone of false beliefs.

Sadly, these possessions by Agent Smith can last for years, or they can spontaneously end for no apparent reason. Either way, when I see it happening, I've learned to employ the fine art of detachment and leave the ranting lunatic hopping up and down in its own droppings. Walk away - without anger or animosity, and especially without some half-baked notion that you can "fix" it. You can't. You can only "fix" yourself - and the flyer's agenda is to make sure you are so caught up in drama and chaos that you never get around to that little task. While you're swinging your sword at demons and flyers, life is going by, time is constricting around your throat, and death has taken one step closer.

Point here is simply this. Don't make the mistake of thinking flyers are just black shadows who nibble on your toes to eat your energy. If flyers exist at all, my experience has been that they are literally agents of the consensus - and they will come at you when and where you least expect it. The more you become aware of their tactics, the more absurdly obvious the flyers will become. Yes, I do wholly realize how crazy this may sound, but I can't deny a pattern that began to make itself obvious from the moment I embarked on this journey.

Whether we like it or not, whether we practice in secret or have a well known website or blog or even just post occasionally on private groups... warriors who are serious about their path are also a very serious threat to the complacency of the phantoms, because without ever intending it, we make others think, and the flyers do not want people to think for themselves. In fact, when you do encounter a "flyer" you can often identify them by the fact that you'll hear everybody else's words but their own spewing forth from their mouths. They are conduits, empty vessels - and as such they make an ideal host for the agendas of the consensus itself. They will tell you  how and who to be, precisely what they expect from you, and they will be sure to let you know what a disappointment you are for not dropping your life to live up to their expectations of who and what you should be. The roller coaster ride is really quite remarkable, and if you don't learn to see it coming, you may hop on board for a few laps before you know what hit you.

This is one reason I have advocated the philosophy: "The only winning move is not to play." Many warriors (particularly younger ones) tend to think that engaging "difficult people" is a good exercise in stalking, or a good way to "practice". In reality, when someone you know suddenly starts acting like a hostile stranger, chances are it's because they ARE a stranger, and trying to reason with them is like mistaking a force 5 tornado for a harmless little whirlwind. Do so at your own peril.

Agent Smith is not your friend. He's just squatting in their body, hoping you won't notice. Be aware. The "flyers" are all around you, closer than you think.
______________________
Copyright 2015 by Della Van Hise
All Rights Reserved

The High Cost of Enlightenment

If all books were free, who
would have the time to write them?

In a recent discussion on the Carlos Castaneda group on Facebook, someone commented that a well-known "nagual" takes money for his teachings. I hear this argument often - not just about one man, but about many naguals, including myself. But here's the thing - Carlos used to bring don Juan a sack of groceries, and drive him all over Mexico. And while it wasn't exactly a monetary "payment", it was a form of barter appropriate to the circumstances. But isn't money just another item of barter? Are our teachers (school teachers, college professors, et al) expected to perform their services for free? Do we go to a professional such as a doctor or lawyer and expect that we will not receive a bill?

Point here is simply that nothing in life is really free. I've had people argue with me to the point of mutual unfriending about internet piracy. Many seem to think it's perfectly okay to download (read: steal) a book or movie or song from a pirate site, in which case the writer/artist never gets paid and eventually has to start asking, "Would you like fries with that?"

At THAT point, their art is usually forfeit altogether, and any knowledge or artistic talent they may possess never sees the light of day. The consensual agreement (and the foreign installation) wins because some deep-rooted programs tell some seekers that it is "wrong" for a teacher/artist/writer/musician to take money for their time and efforts.

The bullshit justifications for piracy  run rampant.
Calling a turd a rose won't make it stink any less.
Think before you stink.

All of the seekers I've ever worked with have jobs of one sort or another, and they expect to get paid. Why is it different for teachers? Is it just a sense of entitlement? Do we EXPECT everything in life to be free? I'll be sure to tell that to the door greeter at Walmart when I walk out without paying for a big flat screen t.v. and a stack of DVDs and books. "Information and the means to access it should always be free!" I'll say to her... just before the cops pull up and arrest me.

This is one reason I have personally tried to make myself and my knowledge available online. I've even encouraged other "naguals" to do the same, but most don't and most won't. One even said to me, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Meaning - why would anyone buy my book when I make it (and myself) available for free. Well... I don't have an answer to that, and it doesn't really concern me. I work for a living, own my own retail business, and do editing and book packaging for other writers as a sideline. Sure, I love it when someone buys my book or asks me for an intensive personal/private consultation, but I also love (and benefit spiritually!) from being able to interact directly with others in discussion groups, or sitting in a restaurant over lunch. That facilitates my own assimilation and - hopefully - has the potential to assist someone else with their own. To me, that's a great exchange of energy.

I don't think there are any pat answers to this question. I have come under heavy criticism in the past for taking money for my books and for my private consultations. But here's the thing - I'd be HAPPY to trade my knowledge for a sack of groceries, but that isn't the world we live in NOW. So while I sometimes WISH everything in life could be free, I can't condemn people who take money (or other forms of barter) in exchange for their expertise. The question becomes - do you as the seeker benefit from the exchange, in which case it was a price well paid. If you DON'T benefit, either find a different teacher and move on, or turn to the BEST teacher in the house: the one who lives inside your own head.

The best guru in the world is the one inside your head.

You really DO have access to all the Knowledge in the universe - through the art of silent knowing (or gnosis, as I prefer to call it). You don't even need a teacher to access that knowledge, or to learn HOW to access it, despite what you have been programmed to believe. It is right there. It is in YOU. You can call it your double or your higher self or Uncle Bob - but it's in YOU and it won't cost you a dime. But if you're successful, what it WILL cost you are all of those belief systems that tell you there's a right way and a wrong way to spiritual enlightenment. In reality, the only RIGHT way is whatever way WORKS (whether solo or with a teacher). The only WRONG way is to decide there are WRONG ways and stand on your high-fallutin' principles instead of having the courage to shatter those false foundations.

Nobody owes you anything. Nothing is ever free. When you understand that is when you will have taken a huge step toward the evolution of your awareness and freedom from the machine.

Hero or Villain?

What determines a "hero" or a "villain" is nothing more than random chance. Let's say a friend tells you he's going to jump off a cliff because his wife just left him, he has terminal cancer, and the bank has begun foreclosure procedures on his house. The two of you are standing at the edge of the abyss, and he starts to jump, but because you love him, you reach out and prevent him from jumping.

Now, let's say that after you pull him back from the abyss, his wife has a change of heart and decides to stay with him. He falls in love with her all over again, and that sends the cancer into spontaneous remission. Because he's now able to work again, the bank gives him an extension, and he is able to get his life back in order. You're a hero - because if you hadn't pulled him back from the cliff, he'd be deader'n a doornail.

Or... Let's say you pull him back from the cliff, but his wife DOESN'T change her mind. She leaves him, and his disease gets worse instead of better. He lapses into a long-term coma, the house is repossessed by the bank, and so there's not only no inheritance for ANYBODY, but his remaining family are left with his medical bills, and must atke out liens on their own property in an attempt to do what's "right", and as a result of all of this, even MORE lives are ruined. You're a schmuck! You shouldda let him jump!

And yet... the action you took was precisely the same, and can only be judged in hindsight by the outcome. The. Action. Was. Precisely. The. Same.

You did what you truly believed was right, and if things had gone another way, you would be the hero, instead of beating yourself up with guilt. But... ultimately, of course, there's no difference in what you did, so obviously there can be no "fault". It's just what is, and as with everything else in life, it can only be judged and evaluated in hindsight. We're all experts on the past, but most are blind as bats where the future is concerned.
_____________

From a post to the Carlos Castaneda discussion group on Facebook

End of the Road

I recently had a warrior say to me: "I have gone so far down this path till there is no path."

The truth about paths is that they do end, and there is nothing you can do about it from this point forward except to forge your own path. When I talk about "the path" it is seen on many different levels. There is essentially what might be called a "process" in the beginning - some warriors connect with it through Castaneda, others through Zen, others through various & sundry manifestations of shamanism. But there comes a time when one runs out of "road", and there is just the warrior and the worlds, with no real path left to follow. You have the Knowledge, but no clear indicator of where to take it, what to do with it, nothing at all. Just you and the end of the road – and yet, it seems that when we run out of road is when the journey really begins. And that's the part of the equation that is difficult, scary, and has caused more warriors to turn back than any encounter with allies or power plants.

When I think of the 4 enemies of a man of Knowledge, the way I see it is this: fear is obvious, and something we deal with as an ongoing enemy. Clarity comes and we revel in it - sometimes getting lost in it for years. But as we come to the end of the "path", we see with that clarity that there is no more path - just a vast, untouched universe waiting for the creator's hand. It's knowing that we ARE the creator that gives us pause and brings us face to face with Power. Usually, there is a relatively long period of time during which we simply don't know what to do with our Power, and it's at that point that a lot of warriors turn back - because they have become accustomed to being followers of a path rather than FORGERS of a path.

When we're actually following that initial path (whether Castaneda, Zen, or whatever), if we are impeccable, it could be said we're not really following, but learning from the paths of others. But then comes that day when we have learned all our teachers can teach us, and we then have to go out and push the envelope of Knowledge "where no man has gone before.” There's something to that old STAR TREK cliche - because that is the warrior's ultimate journey. Where NO man has gone before. You are the first, and so the "path" disappears from beneath your feet, leaving you only with Knowledge.

A few years back, I was playing with a concept which I called "beyond human comprehension"; and a related concept "beyond human experience." This is the territory of the nagual, which defies words almost entirely. But what it amounts to is that there is an almost physical pain/confusion/anguish which the warrior begins to experience when s/he comes up against this idea of "beyond human experience." There is much humans cannot comprehend, yet it is in the attempt to do so that we push the envelope "beyond human experience". That pushing is, in itself, part of our evolution.

Sadly - very few ever make it to the end of the path, because the sorcerer's secret is that the path itself is part of the tonal, and is comforting and alluring in so very many ways. To admit that the path HAS an end, and to find oneself facing only the vast Unknown means evolving to a new level of thinking, a new level of responsibility, a new level of awareness - and THAT is far scarier than ANYTHING on "the path" the warrior has taken to get to this point.

_____________

Copyright 2015 by Della Van Hise

All Rights Reserved

Do good and evil exist?

I often hear terms such as "dark side" and "light-worker." Do you believe there is a dark side? Or a light side, for that matter? We already know one cannot exist without the other (at least the physical properties of light and dark). But how would you classify "the dark side"? Does it exist as a "thing" or is it only one more manmade assignation? Where would one sign up for "The Dark Side?" And who decides if one is a light-worker or just a new age bliss ninny?

My reason for these questions on a large group I moderate on Facebook (Carlos Castaneda) was to find out where other seekers' thinking lies with regard to "the dark and the light." Personally, I think it's all a matter of *seeing*. From a seer's perspective, it can usually be determined that the thing we BELIEVE are "dark" may not be at all (and vice versa re the "light"). It's all a position of the assemblage point - a matter of perspective and belief systems.

As long as a warrior believes it is his/her duty or obligation to engage in a battle against "the dark side", what that warrior is really doing is engaging in a battle against his or her own beliefs and fears. Nothing wrong with that - it can be beneficial - but ONLY if the warrior KNOWS that is what s/he is doing. As long as the warrior BELIEVES there is a "dark side" the warrior CREATES the dark side as a juxtaposition to her own beliefs that she herself is of the "light."

As I have come to see it, the whole so-called battle between good and evil is basically a distraction going on in the center ring of the 3-ring circus of life. In the other two rings... the consensual reality churns along in one, while the infinite unknown sits back and laughs in the other. Overhead, the eagle swings on the trapeze, waiting for the performers to slaughter one another and send him his dinner.

The only thing in the cave of darkness is what we take with us.
True or false?

Buddha said, "We are what we think." My mentor said (and so did Voldemort), "There is no good or evil, only power." In the big picture, I have found that seemingly grim statement to be true. Good and evil are concepts, just like light and dark. When Luke Skywalker was required to go into the cave, he asked Yoda, "What's in there?" To which the little green guy replied, "Only what you take with you."

Isn't that the case with just about everything if you REALLY stop to think about it? There is no item in the world that one can hold in their hand and say, "This is good" or "This is evil." Humans assign those attributes according to what they already BELIEVE, and then act out their part in the center ring accordingly.

Why does this matter? Maybe it doesn't. Or maybe having the awareness that what we BELIEVE creates the reality we then inhabit can give us the awareness to STOP believing things MUST be light or dark, good or evil, god or devil. Without such beliefs, most conflicts would be resolved before they ever start, most wars would never be fought, and maybe the eagle would have to tighten his belt just a little.

Evil is a choice. Good is a decision. The devil is in the details.
______________

Stalking the Authentic Self

When someone asks who you are, they generally want to know your name, whether you’re married or single, and if you might sleep with them. Or maybe they’re just being polite and really don’t give a damn. Most likely that’s the case. But let’s assume for a moment that you really want to answer the question – “Who am I?”

Where do you look for answers?

The obvious answer is too obvious: Look inside yourself, young Grasshopper.

And yet... how do you look inside yourself if you don’t know who you are?

Ain’t that annoying?

________________________

One of the hardest tasks we face as warriors involves coming face to face with the characters we play in our day to day lives. People who adopt roles without awareness usually find themselves in a heap of misery, because the role and reality usually don't go hand in hand.

Actors on Broadway who perform the same role for years have reported that eventually they start to lose the boundary between themselves and their character, and surely the same is true for humans in general. Live the lie long enough, and eventually the lie is all there is.

A warrior may adopt a role, but it is always done with awareness. This is the art of stalking as it was put forth by Carlos Castaneda. For example, there have been times at one of our events when I will quite happily play the role of The Dumb Blonde, because customers are less intimidated. Easiest way to explain it - when someone asks me, "So, how are you doing today?" my response is going to be what the person wants/needs to hear. "I'm great! You?" If I answered their questions truthfully, they would flee in terror. It might look something like this:

"How are you doing today?" Joe Bloke asks.

The more honest response might be... "Well, lemme see, Joe. We are, in theory, beings who are going to die, and short of taking responsibility for every moment we are alive, we will most likely fall into the abyss, experiencing the absolute annihilation of any awareness we ever possessed.The planet herself is in stage 4 terminal cancer and may be knocked out of orbit at any moment by a rogue comet, but other than that, I'm having a great day. You?"

All true, but inappropriate for the circumstances. So the stalker puts on her mask, plays her role, but always with the total knowledge that the mask is not the self. It is a tool – a survival mechanism. And yet, the moment we forget it’s a tool, we run the same risk as anyone else.

"Under no circumstances is it acceptable to put on the mask of a phantom, for all too often, what you do not realize is that the phantoms have lined the mask with glue that is anesthesia and pleasant amnesia." (Orlando – August 2001)

So what? “What does that have to do with me?” you ask.

Next time you find yourself in an intense situation arguing vehemently for your own point of view, stop for a moment and listen to your internal dialog. You will probably hear the voice of your character. You may even see him in his super hero costume, arguing for truth, justice and the Righteous Way.

Grab the nearest gun. Shoot the fucker. Then run like hell off the stage and out of the play.

The authentic self is the one standing in the shadows, waiting for you to wake up. No capes or masks. No magical weapons. No special abilities. Except one.

The authentic self is the most powerful being in the universe, because from the cohesive assemblage point of the authentic self, there is nothing you cannot do.

________________

An abridged excerpt from "Scrawls On the Walls of the Soul" (Della Van Hise)

All Rights Reserved

Knocking On the Devil's Door

"Don't come knocking on the devil's door
if you don't want to get dragged into Hell."

"The Price of Freedom"


A lot of people come to me saying they "want to learn." And yet, all too often, I've found that really isn't true. Even among seekers, many are just looking for agreements, a different set of false beliefs than the ones they already inhabit - and when they fail to get that, they have a tendency to flounce (a technical term), write nasty emails to me, and generally throw a tantrum because their comfort zones got rattled somewhere in the process.

My mentor once said:  "Don't come knocking on the devil's door if you don't want to get dragged into Hell." Lot of truth there - and in so many ways, the acquisition of Knowledge can be a lot like knocking on the devil's door. What we learn essentially destroys the world as we know it. Sometimes we're ready for that. Usually we're not. And knowing the difference can save a lot of wasted time, energy and emotional entanglements with that "devil."

There is no going back the way you came,
because what is forever changed...
is you.

This is why Knowledge has been called "forbidden fruit" and why the whole allegory of Adam and Eve got spun into being in the first place. Once we *see* the truth after ingesting "forbidden fruit", there's no going back to that idyllic Garden of Eden - just as apprentices throughout history have found that there is no way to UNknow what we have come to Know. In the literature of Carlos Castaneda, one of the apprentices (Pablito) lamented that he wished he could return to his normal life, before he met don Juan, before he *saw* the world and himself as they are. In The Matrix, Cypher wants nothing more than to return to the program, and all for the illusion of a juicy steak. In Interview With the Vampire, Louis is told to "Go back the way you came." But of course... there is no going back. Those roads are closed or worse... never existed at all once seen for the illusions they always were.

And yet... that's the price of freedom - finally sticking one's head above the chaotic waters of the program, and coming to actually see that 1) the world is nothing like we have been taught to believe; and 2) we ourselves are nothing like we have come to think; and 3) this is how our comfortable little world ends.  Because once seen, no amount of pissing and moaning and self-indulgence is going to reset the controls. Game over. Congratulations - you are now enlightened, and chances are you don't like it much at all, because another quality of light is that it tends to burn the eyes, especially if you've just emerged from a dark room.

Put another way - if you're not ready to have your world view shattered, you might want to consider reading Mary Poppins instead of Carlos Castaneda - and you certainly might want to consider whether you REALLY want to interact directly with others on the path who can so easily yank the rug right out from under your false belief systems. A lot of people say they want to meet a teacher or a nagual, but few really do, because few really want their comfort zones challenged in any sort of meaningful way. Particularly in our Western culture, we are programmed to think we already know everything, and as I learned from my own teachers - "Someone who believes they already know everything can learn nothing." But, of course, nobody wants to admit (even to themselves) that the information they've spent a lifetime gathering is largely just consensual programming bullshit - and so they usually end up shooting the messenger while sticking their fingers in their ears and humming "Mary Had A Little Lamb" in an attempt to drown out the message which now haunts even their Dreams.

Bottom line - if your beliefs and your feelings form the edifice of your identity, and if you NEED that edifice in order to get through your day... the quest for Knowledge probably isn't a journey you want to undertake. I say this not to be discouraging, but to warn you as my own mentor once warned me. The real "price of freedom" is losing the scared little phantom self who cowers in the shadows of your mind. The real "price of freedom" is coming to truly *see* that this is a solitary journey and the only thing that can hold you together in the face of infinity is your Knowledge, your experience, and your commitment to undoing all of those programs that hold the false consensus reality together (or "the foreign installation", if you prefer).

You are the most powerful being in the universe. Only when you take back the energy you have invested in the false belief systems of the consensus will you be able to accumulate enough personal power to actually *see* that.

Do you want to be free, or do you want to go on believing in a flat earth at the center of the universe where gods and devils control your fate?  It's up to you.

__________________

Copyright 2015, by Della Van Hise
All Rights Reserved

Once Upon a "Time"

(Further thoughts on "The First Fundamental Lie")

Once upon a time... I was at a street fair in Palm Springs, standing in our booth. It was long after sundown and the crowds had thinned as closing time approached. Two young men came into the booth and one of them looked at me with a deep intensity. "Read Tertium Organum by Ouspensky - it will teach you about time," the young man said. I learned a lot from that book. I learned a lot MORE from the young messenger who appeared out of the nothing and just as quickly returned to it. The world (and time) are nothing like we have been taught to believe. In a recent discussion in the Carlos Castaneda group on Facebook, someone mentioned that 'without time we couldn't experience timelessness'. But is that really true? Is that only another dualistic approach to what might simply be a non-dualistic "entity"? In my excursions with the mushroom ally, a lot of my instruction in the Otherworld has been on the subject of "time" - and I can only assume there is a reason my allies continue attempting to reveal the "truth" about time. They insist it is an "illusion," but that is only a word, a description. It may be an "illusion" in the sense that our humanform (lack of) comprehension is such that we have concluded that flies cause garbage.The allies (and my double) speak of "moving between the tick and tock of the clock," which would imply existence in a "timeless" world is possible right "here" and "now" (though both of those words require the presence of "time", and so the conundrum grows.) As I see it, both "time" and "timelessness" exist within the paradoxical limitless confines of what we can only call "the hologram". It's literally the sphere of all possibility - the eye of god looking at him/herself in the mirror, and coming to realize that s/he is the creator and janitor of it all, through the window of awareness. Simultaneously - thou art god (create yourself accordingly). Words cannot unravel time even if time might occasionally allow words to be more easily unraveled.

When I have sat in the gnosis of silent knowing and just observed "time", what I inevitably *see* is the blackness of the void between galaxies. It is a non-entity. Light creates time, and so my double has also spoken of moving "between the particles of light." The sorcerer who seeks to "leave this earth in the manner of a sorcerer" understands this, and further understands that this is not "death" but a manner of transcendence, even transmogrification. The only way to defy "time" (and death) is to become transparent to them both by transcending the human form and therefore (automatically) moving between the particles of light, moving in between the tick and the tock of the clock. To become "timeless" we become that No-thing which looks to a *seer* like the void. Of course... the void is immeasurable (and immeasurably sentient), even in a single square centimeter of itself (which may well be the square centimeter of chance DJM spoke of). We are humans trying to comprehend a concept that is, quite simply, beyond human comprehension. The only way to transcend that "limitation" is to transcend the human form. Silent knowing is the first step in that direction. The second step is avoiding the automatic (and erroneous) conclusions about "time" which come from a lifetime of programming and erroneous input. We can't come to correct conclusions when we have been spoon fed incorrect information. Time will tell. __________________ Copyright 2014 by Della Van Hise All Rights Reserved

Recommended reading: Tertium Organum (Ouspensky) The Holographic Universe (Michael Talbot)

The First Fundamental Lie

A lesson from the double

The human paradigm is built on the false notion of Time, and so it could be observed by one outside of the matrix that the entire paradigm itself is erroneous because it has created within its subjects a viewpoint that is based on what inorganics (immortals) call The First Fundamental Lie. And yet, because you have always existed within the confines of The Lie, how does one undo a lifetime of belief when that belief has long since been ingrained as truth? It is one thing to undo the programs that make you human, but another thing entirely to unfasten the precepts that are fundamental to your notion of what it means to BE human – essentially what you have come to accept as ‘human abilities’ and ‘human limitations’.

Think on this, for it is only when you are willing to sacrifice The Lie that you will be able to glimpse these fundamental elements of creation which are channeled through your essential be-ing pure and limitless, but limited entirely by The Lie which was designed to do just that. Ironic, yes? You are made of the pixels and photons of limitlessness and timelessness, yet unable to access that power because the nature of any consensus is to create parameters which can only limit the power and understanding of the thing itself. And yet, here is the secret you have yet to Real-ize, contained in the question: WHO is creating the consensus?

When I say I am the only god I know, I mean this literally and without reservation, for the truest fundamental understanding of creation is that it is a self-willed manifestation through which one experiences Every-Thing while hiding from oneself that very truth. You experience your ordinary reality as "Alexis" or "Bill," yet there are continuous clues that this is only a single frequency on a much larger radio. But if all the stations were playing simultaneously, there would be no sense of organization (which is fundamental to what it means to be human, and therefore infinitely self-limiting), and so The Lie (which has become almost an entity unto itself, but really cannot *be* an entity because it is contained within the paradigm itself) has woven fables and fairy tales which try to tell you who and what you are, and for as long as you accept its intentional limitations, you will never have the ability to wrap your mind around yourself because The Lie’s primary agenda is to prevent you from doing just exactly that.

This is not something you will unravel by thinking. It is something you will either *see* or not, depending entirely on how much you are willing to release your human beliefs so as to embrace your Totality.

_______________

Copyright 2014 by Della Van Hise

All Rights Reserved