Friday, December 26, 2014


The following ramble is a compilation of several posts made to my old group, The Sorcerer's World, and explored to some extent on my website, .  I realize some of it is complex and repetitive, but rather than try to distill it down to 50 words or less, it seems reasonable to present it more or less as it was written – in fits and starts of passion, and long nights in the womb of silent knowing. (DVH)

Though it has been said by don Juan that no one really knows why Naguals are born with 4 compartments of energy rather than the traditional two, I think I might have a vague inkling of why this is so.  As a warrior creates her double and projects that energetic self into the infinite, it is given the agenda (at least in the case of my own double – who calls himself "Orlando") of teaching us how to live, but even more so, it teaches us how to EVOLVE,  how to reconjoin with the double so that the warrior may inhabit the totality of OneSelf.  Literally One. Self.

My double has always said that the only way he can leave me is if I were to turn my back on the path and fragment myself back into phantomhood.  Should that happen, the result would be that when I face the eagle, the "Della-self" would not survive, and would fragment back into the component parts of energy of which all things are made.  I would return to the "all", but not in any cohesive manner.  BUT... as I have come to understand it, the energy body which is the cohesive double would continue...  (because it is already Whole within the indestructible hologram). IOW, what would be lost would be my mortal self with all her life-experiences, not necessarily the part of me that is already whole outside of time.  But the whole purpose of this two-part migration of the soul is to bring the mortal self and the double into cohesion, so as to inhabit a single assemblage point into the infinite.  The double has been given the agenda to teach/create/make the warrior an integrated Whole being through an ongoing series of lessons, information, Knowledge & experience.  There is no limit to this, and that agenda is an eternal one, perhaps expressed in the words:  “I give you the will & the wisdom to be whatever you need to be in order to teach me how to be Whole.”   (For "whole" you could substitute the words "evolved," "cohesive," "eternal," or even "im-mortal" (i.e., not-mortal).

Now here's where it gets into an area Orlando calls "the ghost train”. If we look at our mortal lives like a train trip, and we get to the end of the line (the eagle, death, transformation), our Intent is to step off the train, embrace the energetic double, and conjoin into our Totality (literally the combined assemblage points of every experience the self and double have ever experienced – both in and outside of "time").  BUT... if for some reason the mortal self fails in its bid for cohesion, my theory is that the double actually goes "back in time" (as it were) to within the time-frame of the mortal lifespan... and begins the whole procedure again.  Orlando says he and I have ridden the ghost train a few times (not a pleasant idea), but not surprising, considering everything I now know.  It's like that scene in THE MATRIX where Neo first jumps off the building.  One of the others remarks, "Everybody falls the first time."  I think that's true here, too, which may account for why the idea of "past lives" is so popular.  Some of those "past lives" may well be our individual journeys on the ghost train.  It is the double’s journey toward Totality, toward fulfilling the agenda with which the mortal created it through free will.

What it boils down to is that the universe is holographic in nature.  So once something is created as "real", it can never be destroyed.  If your double is real NOW, even if you develop Alzheimer's, go insane, or simply fail to get past the eagle, the double is nonetheless real within the hologram... and because its agenda is its own evolution and conjoining with its mortal self, it will continue to slip back into that small segment of eternity known as the mortal lifespan  in an attempt to teach the mortal self how to SUCCEED in getting past the eagle "next time". This may also account for some instances of deja vu.  We think we've done this before because we HAVE done this before.

With that bit of background, I have begun to seriously wonder if so-called "Naguals" or double beings are born that way because they are the ones who HAVE ridden that ghost train at least once or twice, and so they essentially come into THIS life with the energetic double more or less already fully formed – lying dormant until such time as there is an opening, or window of opportunity for the teachings to begin again – or more precisely, until such time as the mortal’s free will awakens and issues the command.  In my case, that command is remembered as an 11-year-old girl shaking her fist at the sky and proclaiming, “If I can’t come to you, I’ll bring you to me."

Point is, because the double is an eternal part of the hologram once created, even when/if the mortal self fails in her bid for evolution past the eagle, that which is eternal within the hologram (the double) has the ability to essentially step back inside the finite span of that mortal lifespan – because the double is not constrained or limited to a linear-experience of time, and exists ubiquitously throughout the space-time continuum.  So, it begins to appear  that those who have created their double, but for whatever reason perhaps do not fulfill their evolution “the first time around”, may be those who are born double-beings, or naguals.  What is happening in actuality is that the agenda given to the double kicks in if the mortal self fails in her bid for evolution, and by virtue of re-entering the mortal timeframe (rather like stepping into a re-run on television), the being who is born Now is born with the double already “attached” – four energy compartments instead of only two.


Any warrior can create their double - though ultimately it isn't as much a matter of "choice" as it is a matter of Intent.  And there is definitely a difference.  I might choose to go light a candle as part of a ritual, for example, but that isn't what will create the double.  It is the ache/hurt/want/need in the pit of the stomach that provides the Intent that would make me feel a need to perform some meaningless ritual in the first place.  The ritual has no real power and is a choice; but the intent behind the ritual has ultimate power in creation, and the ritual is only a tool for focus.  Over a period of time (no one can say how long), the double is brought into being by the intent of the warrior - not the intent to create the double, but the intent to seek knowledge, the intent to create, the intent to find the answer to that gnawing ache/hurt/want/need in the pit of the stomach.  In short, the double is created through dreaming in the sense that the energy of that ache/hurt/want/need goes into manifesting the "cure" - and that cure is the double, which may be described as the vessel of the singularity of consciousness which emerges when all is said and done and the warrior leaves this earth.

Double beings are another matter - and yet, at the very heart and soul and source of WHY they are double beings, it may be exactly  the same thing, but something that is being seen from another point on the time-map.  I have a theory that Naguals such as myself are the fuck-ups of the sorcerer's equation.  The theory is perhaps slightly complicated, but I need to work through it on cyberpaper, so bear with me, or go smoke a joint and come back later.
If I start from point A, and take the premise - I am an ordinary warrior who has now managed to create my double.  The double is now the indestructible vessel of energy which will become the assemblage point of my Totality beyond this physical life.  Because it appears that the universe is holographic in nature, what this means is that both the double and the immortal self are part of that hologram.  And as most already know, the nature of a hologram is that as long as one has even a tiny piece, one possesses the whole.  In other words, the whole of the hologram exists within each component of itself, so even if it is fragmented, as long as one piece can be recovered, the hologram can be reconstructed in its entirety.

Okay... so I've created my double and I'm bopping along through life, and get hit on the head by a meteor one day, and kaputz, I'm a goner.  The eagle grabs my Della-awareness, and I am absorbed back into the black velvet fabric of the Nothing - obliterated.  But let's further say that because I was an impeccable warrior (except for failing to note the meteor coming), I had given my double the agenda:  "Go out into the All and bring back whatever knowledge is required to teach me everything I need to know in order to become a singularity.  Dream me as I have Dreamed you - no matter what.  And do not stop until the singularity is manifested."

In giving the double such an agenda, one is acting in the realm of sorcery to defeat the eagle, at least at a certain level.  Because of the holographic nature of the universe, once the double is created as an independent component with free will, it cannot be destroyed even if the awareness of the mortal self is eaten by the eagle.  Now - an aside - this would require an extremely cohesive double, so this would probably only happen if a warrior were extremely advanced on the path when s/he was hit by that meteor - but for whatever reason, the component that is the mortal self "failed" in her bid to get past the eagle in order to conjoin with the double.  So, let's assume, just for the sake of argument, that the eagle stands "between" self and double.  May or may not be true, but works for the sake of this explanation.

So - here's the game plan so far.  Warrior created her double, gave that double the agenda to teach her "no matter what it takes" (a matter of intent); and then gets splattered by a meteor and eaten by the eagle.  It's a shitty day, to be sure. 

Okay - so the awareness of the mortal self is swallowed up by the eagle, but because the double was created already BEYOND the eagle, that energy still exists as part of the hologram.  But, it  recognizes that even it is not "complete" because the component which was the mortal self (its own source) was just eaten by the eagle.  So the double is having a bad day, too.  What to do?  Without the awareness of the mortal self, the double knows it is not "whole" - not a singularity, but only a component, no matter how powerful.  And as such, it knows it is vulnerable to the ravages of infinity.  Without both halves, the dis-integration is not only inevitable, but has already begun.

Since the double is not limited to the confines of the linear human lifetime, and moves freely outside the box of time itself, the double can just as easily step back inside the framework of the mortal self.  I've used the analogy in the past that the double could very easily "climb inside" the mortal self while that mortal self was still in the womb of her mother - and, indeed, this would make a lot of sense, because only then would the double-being exist in the first place.  Why do this?  Because the double is fighting for his/her own survival, too.  And the only way to be sure it will survive would be to exist in such a position as to be able to exert influence over its mortal source from before the moment of birth.   So, the double wriggles down comfortably inside his mortal self who is still in the womb, and when the infant is born, it would appear to a seer as having 4 compartments of energy instead of only two.

But - the problem is that the seer is still a being of linear time, and may think - "Oh, my, what a special child!"  Er - not really.  Sure, the nagual has extra energy and all of that seemingly fun stuff, but we're the fuck-ups who got hit on the head with the meteor in the moebius loop of the time/space continuum, and so the double has had to take control and "re-dream" its way into mortal existence so the whole process can be redone, this time with the double having more influence from the start.

"To the eye of the seer, a Nagual man or Nagual woman appears as a luminous egg with four compartments.  Unlike the average human being, who has two sides only, a left and a right, the Nagual has a left side divided into two long sections, and a right side equally divided in two."  (Carlos Castsaneda)

The reason it is seen in this manner is because the seer is seeing only the object, and not the outside-of-time retroactive enchantment[1] which created that object as it exists.  And so - ultimately - Naguals may be just another warrior who created their double, got hit on the head with a meteor, and had a double who was smart enough to operate outside of time so as to salvage his own pathway to the Infinite by climbing back into his "source" so as to better guide the play the second time around.

The upside to all of this is that it does tend to give a Nagual that extra reserve of energy, and it certainly provides one with a sense of urgency and focus and sheer determination to make it to freedom that is unparalleled.  I am going to make it, no matter what - because if I don't, not only do I "lose" Orlando, but I will have to go through Gretta Young's fourth grade class again.  That alone is a powerful medicine of motivation.

Okay - with everything I've just said, it's important to note that NONE of this frees the Nagual from the responsibility of "creating the double through dreaming" in the first place, in the Now.   Because even though the double may come into this life with the mortal infant, with the ability to exert powerful influence over that child from even before the moment of birth, it is still the mortal self who must exert free will and force the double to go through the motions of actually occurring.[2]

I've known a couple of naguals who felt they were somehow "special" just by virtue of being born a double being, and even felt that they didn't have to create their double because s/he already existed.  One even referred to it as "a waste of energy to create what already exists."

That, again, is a case of a seer seeing only the finished product and failing to take into account that something had to happen to create that reality in the first place.  IOW, the conclusions are erroneous, just as it would be an erroneous conclusion to stand in front of a city dump and proclaim, "Flies caused all this garbage!"

So - lest anyone should think Naguals have it easier or are in any way special - please allow me to disabuse you of that notion. :)  I haven't found it to be any different for myself than for any of the other warriors I've known and worked with over the years.  We still have to create our double and go through the hard work of the path, so that the double will exist in the first place.

Nothing is a given.  Not one thing.  No one is going to do it for me - not even my double, Orlando. At best, he is a safety net of sorts - but only because that is what I created him to be.

And so it goes...

Copyright 2014, by Della Van Hise
All Rights Reserved

1 Retroactive Enchantment – a term used by Peter J. Carroll and defined as an action in the Now which may be seen to also significantly alter the past.

[2] Quantum theory: All things exist within the realm of possibility, but only some things will be forced to go through the motions of actually occurring.


Elizabeth Sosaya said...

I'm still trying to wrap my head around this information, but my question at this point would be: Doesn't the Double exit beyond the "eagle" for everyone? In other words, even if a warrior/average human has not fully created that Double, does it not still exit in quantum space and would it not re-enter the human matrix to "try again?" Or are you saying that unless the warrior brings the Double into being with her/his Intent, it simply does not exist at all? So unlike the concept of Soul, or the Buddhist idea of Mind, the Double does not exist until a human manifests it. Is that the idea? If that is true, where does the Double exit in spacetime? Would it not have to be "there" "somewhere," in order to be created? I guess I had always considered the Double to be similar to the idea of Soul in that it exists in some nebulous space but waits for the human form to recognize it. Thank you, Della, for this post, a true gesture from a Warrior/Nagual.

Della Van Hise / Quantum Shaman said...

Thanks for the feedback, Elizabeth!

The double has some similarities to the concept of a soul, but there are also differences. Personally (just my own opinion), I have come to the conclusion (subject to change) that everyone comes into life with a "spark" - but unless that spark is nurtured into an eternal flame, it tends to dissipate and eventually disappear (thus the Toltec concept of the eagle - which basically devours our awareness and returns it to the energetic components from whence it came).

I absolutely LOVE that you asked "where does the double exist in spacetime?" From my observations, the double is a paradox incarnate, which is precisely WHY it has the ability to serve as the energetic vessel for our awareness beyond the eagle. The double exists in spacetime (for starters) within the human being who will (or won't) bring it into being. It exists as that spark. Once the spark is nurtured and begins to grow, the double is then "projected" into the infinite - meaning that it becomes ubiquitous and NON-LOCAL. It is everywhere and nowhere. The quantum paradox which is awareness itself.

From a human perspective, we perceive that our awareness is "localized" within our brains, but we know from Dreaming and out of body experiences that this really isn't the case. I myself had a near death experience (dead for several minutes) just this past August (2014), and my consciousness was anywhere BUT inside my brain. It was infinite, and simultaneously it was interacting directly with my double.He was basically very casual and kept saying things like, "Oh, just come with me. Let's blow this town and go have some REAL fun!" Yes, he is a bit of a trickster, but also deadly serious. It was my choice - whether to dance off with him beyond the eagle, or come back to Earth for awhile.

Anyway... I've come to see the double and the self as 2 halves of a whole - they come into this life together, part ways for awhile (thus the Toltec idea of "the nagual man goes to dwell in third attention, where it serves as a beacon to the warrior"), and eventually - hopefully! - reconjoin in one way or another.

Hope this helps. ;)