Friday, January 04, 2013

Unconditional Love & The Black Hole

It's come to my attention over the years that a lot of folk who embark on this path start out with what amounts to a lot of anger and even hatred in their hearts - usually as a result of having been mistreated by some band of misfits, or some bullies in school, or by society at large. And while these feelings are entirely normal to a certain extent, it's important for the seeker to really understand that hatred holds no place in the immortal heart.

This isn't just me up on a soap box preaching for unconditional love. Instead, it is my attempt to communicate one of the most important things I've learned on this long and winding road. It is simply this:

Love is the reason.

It would obviously be impossible to communicate the full complexity of what is really Intended by the words "unconditional love." But in a nutshell, unconditional love is the only state from which a human brain/mind can evolve to the next level. Put simply: one has to evolve within the self before one can evolve beyond the self.

Well WTF does THAT mean?

It means that while a seeker might be able to use anger as a motivator and even a catalyst for change, the seeker can never really use hatred for any positive outcome, because hatred is the core root of violence, aggression and the black hole that lies at the heart of the human condition. If you have ever really (truly) hated some one or some thing or some idea, I believe you will understand what I mean by a "black hole." It is a state of being that is all-consuming - destroying even that little speck of light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. People who truly hate are the ones who go out and blow up schools or become suicide bombers or shoot up a theater full of innocent people because maybe someone called them a "sissy" back in high school, or maybe their perverse Uncle Dick put his dick where it didn't belong and they are forever traumatized and full of anger and hate and the blackness that exists in the void beyond the universe itself. In all likelihood, they even feel quite righteous about their hatred - it is an earmark of their identity, and they believe (falsely) that if they were without that hatred, they would somehow cease to exist in the way they know themselves.

This, too, is part of the programming put onto one by the consensus reality. I won't bother going into the specifics - they should be obvious - but I want to stress that what happened to you then was then, and what happens to you now is the only Now you will ever know. The one who is full of hatred for what happened in that past is living in that past - and when you think about it, that's really very twisted and sick, because it's like reliving the darkness from day to day, year to year, taking the anger and pain and hurt with one into the future, when it could just as easily be dumped along side the road with the words... "That was then, this is now."

I really don't care what "happened" to make a hateful man into a hateful man. It doesn't really matter "why" so-and-so shot up a school or strapped a bomb to his chest and walked into a crowded mall. The media and pop psychologists like to say that if we can understand WHY he did it, we can prevent it from happening again.  No, not really.  The reasons are too many and too varied - so all we can really strive for is to understand ourselves and in doing so, hopefully expand the awareness of those around us, until - eventually - the state of higher awareness becomes the new paradigm. 

So when it comes to trying to understand "why"... What matters is that the man clearly missed his own opportunity for spiritual evolution, and in his hatred (and supreme self-importance) made the decision to punish others for his own emotional failures, interpersonal shortcomings or sexual impotence or fill-in-the-blank. What matters is how this kind of thing can be avoided - just not in the way most people like to believe. I'm not just referring to the high profile media cases such as Sandy Hook and Colorado, but to the every day aspects of life which create both suicidal madmen and homicidal madmen.

The key to any and all of this is a deep understanding of what is meant by unconditional love. Contrary to popular new age beliefs, "unconditional love" isn't some mindless state of being wherein one frolicks with unicorns and runs around acting like a bliss ninny. Unconditional love is actually one of the easiest ways to understand what is really meant by my use of the word "Duality" - a state wherein 2 equally viable (or volatile) things may exist side by side without either threatening the sovereignty of the other. As it applies to unconditional love... it is entirely possible to have unconditional love for someone, and simultaneously not like them in the least.

It's like this: I can have deep empathy (another way of describing unconditional love) for someone like Jeffrey Dahmer, but in the same moment I would not hesitate to administer the lethal injection should the task fall to me. Why? Because it's entirely possible to love the core breath of Life which IS the person, but to condemn the actions of that person through and through. (Yes, I know Jeffrey is dead, but he's still the poster child for what NOT to do in life). Bringing this down to a more personal level - as the seeker progresses on the path, it becomes possible to have unconditional love even for those who have wronged us.

With that said, it doesn't mean we go invite the bully to dinner (though it's a test of conviction if you think you need to). What it does mean is getting some things straight in your head. Whatever the bully or bullies did to you really had nothing to do with YOU, but everything to do with their own limitations, fears, self-loathing and so the list goes on. When you are on the receiving end of that kind of bullying, of course it FEELS personal, but it's really about "them" and what is ultimately "wrong" with them - it has nothing to do with you. Really, really. If you could get inside the bully's head (no, not with an ice pick), you would find yourself face to face with a pathetically frightened, self-absorbed zombie who uses others as a target to mask his own inadequacies.

When you really *see* the depth of despair and emptiness in this type of person, you cannot help but experience empathy and compassion for that core spark of life which has been so damaged - but at the same time, you would not hesitate to club them over the head if you observed them bullying others in the Now. This is both unconditional love and duality, working together to provide the seeker with a workable sense of balance. You may think you can thrive on hatred and anger, but eventually you will find that the black hole of hatred will pull you in entirely and there will be nothing left of you but an empty shell that has become the very thing it loathes: another bully, another zombie whose hunger can never be satisfied.

Unconditional love isn't some doe-eyed state of nirvana. Instead, it is a lot of work - and it comes as a result of a conscious decision to release the hatred we might feel for someone, or a particular group. I realize it's popular for hard-core Pagans to "hate" hard-core Christians (and vice versa), but in the bigger picture, that mindset will only end up creating the conflict and confusion which have led to violence, war and death throughout history. As seekers, you simply cannot afford the luxury or the indulgence of your hatred - because when it consumes you, the "bad guys" have won, and they have succeeded in putting THEIR program onto you, by coercing you to mirror their mindset. And aside from who wins or loses, you simply don't have the time or energy to spare nursing your hatred - and when you are honest with yourself, you cannot help but admit that hatred does require a lot of nurturing.  Something worth examining.

Just words. Use them if you can.

The next time you feel great anger or hatred for someone or some thing, stop for a moment and ask yourself if there is any one single thing you can find about the object of your hatred that might dispel the gravity of the black hole. Can you see that perhaps they are sadly ignorant and should be pitied rather than hated? Can you see that their programming is what drives them and not any real qualms with you personally? Can you employ the old cliche of walking a mile in their shoes in order to better understand what made them who/what they are? If you can do any of these things, you will create a window of opportunity to experience unconditional love.

Allow me to repeat: you don't need to like them or condone what they do. You simply need to have unconditional love for all living things, for it's only in doing so that the seeker annihilates the black hole and creates a window of opportunity for personal evolution beyond the existing paradigm.

Orlando - January 2013
Copyright by Quantum Shaman
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