I recently read ILLUSIONS by Richard Bach. Some of the things described were mirrors of things I've done in my own life, and with some degree of regularity. A few years ago, when I was first beginning to "see" that the sorcerer's world existed, I began experimenting. One day, on the way home, I said to myself, "Okay, Self, if we create our own reality, let's test it. I want to see a red hearse before I get home." In the middle of nowhere, on a sparsely traveled desert road, this seemed highly unlikely if not impossible. I had the thought, let it go, and went on with my journey. I hadn't traveled more than a few miles when I came to a 4-way stop. There, facing me in the oncoming traffic lane, a hearse. It chilled me to the bone, for though it wasn't red, it was most definitely a hearse. I patted myself on the back and said, "Okay, but not exactly what I asked for." But then... as the hearse and I passed one another going in opposite directions, I noticed the license plate. 1RED338 So... the big IS has a grand sense of humor.
I repeated this experiment many times. Once on a freeway in San Diego, I said to Wendy, "I want to see a crib before we get to your mother's house." No sooner had we gotten off the fwy that I looked into a residential neighborhood to see an unassembled crib leaning against a garage wall. A few months later, mid-summer, I said to Wendy on the same fwy, "I want to see a pumpkin before we get to your mother's house." Again, we get off the fwy, and there sitting on the front porch of a house is a fine fat pumpkin. Nowhere near Halloween or Thanksgiving. Not pumpkin season. Yet there she sat. Might as well have been some grand carriage drawn by tiny mice who had transformed into mystical horses. Just a pumpkin on somebody's porch... and yet one of the finest manifestations of the nagual I had ever witnessed.
Another incident: driving through the desert, again in the middle of nowhere. By this time I'm getting a bit demanding with my manifestations. So I picked something REALLY impossible. I said to my traveling companions, "I want to see a washing machine before we get home!" And so as we bumbled along the road where only chaparral and jackrabbits dare to dwell, we came around a bend in the road, and there on the side of the road sat not only a washing machine, but a washer AND dryer. Sense of humor evident. A sign on them said, "Free." Not if THAT wasn't a message from the nagual! :-))) "Free" indeed!
A few months later, on the way home from Encino, stuck in a major traffic jam on the 101 fwy outside of LA, I turned to Wendy and said, "I want to see a lion before we get home." She shot me a dirty look, stuck in traffic as we were, and she at the wheel. The stench of diesel and brushfire choked the air. Red tail lights had formed a river of blood that seemed to stretch endlessly, clogged in freeway veins. I shut up and went back to contemplating the dust on the dashboard. In less than 2 minutes, we rounded a bend, and there, emblazoned across the horizon, was a HUGE sign made entirely of tiny white lights, cast in the shape of a lion's head. Stood about 50' tall. And as if I might miss it, directly beneath, also enlightened in huge, glowing white letters, "THE LION KING."
There have been many such incidents since embarking on this path. So many I cannot count them all. So many that all I can do is gaze in wonder at the earth, the red hearses, the pumpkins and the lion kings, and occasionally glance at the face in the mirror and wonder, "Who ARE you?" The answer is a work in progress, a mosaic of memories and mumblings, a strange tapestry of strange events that really aren't strange at all once we finally accept that the "magick" is real. It's our CR view of the world that's the ultimate illusion, the greatest lie.
We program the coconut to hang on the tree, but we might just as easily rearrange its molecules to become a fine, fat pumpkin on a porch in San Diego. It's all just an arrangement of energy in the sorcerer's world.
March 6, 2003
Quantum Shaman: Diary of a Nagual Woman
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